Laziness // being easy on yourself

There's really a time for being easy on yourself, which at other times may be termed laziness, but at the appropriate time, is just called sensibility, or being good to yourself. The difficulty is knowing when those times are. I guess what I'm mostly referring to are the many goals and little things we hold ourselves to... I'm going to run tonight. I'm gonna do this project or that homework assignment before tomorrow. I'm going to eat healthy, or write a letter to someone, or finally do the dishes or laundry. There's a time when you should finally just do it, but what I really hate is the nagging thought that you should when really, if you just resign yourself to doing it the next day and get over it, it's such a relief to stop thinking about it. It's a relief to let yourself off the hook. Unless you're just being lazy, in which case you feel even worse because not only did you not do the task at hand, but you also lacked strength or resolve. Argh!

So, yes, I am a perfectionist I guess. I don't know. I'm so not - I let my room get so messy, I make hazardous decisions just because I want to do something, I procrastinate to no end, on and on. But I've also been called a perfectionist by my boss, and I guess that's kind of true too. Part of it is a mental game (as previously discussed) that you play with yourself, and if you're really hung up, that you play with others too.

It's really hard to label or pin down a person's characteristics like that, even your own, I think. Maybe I just don't know myself very well (yet). But then again it's kind of nice being un-pin-downable because you get to defy categories.

Then there's always the story of the girl who thought too much...

The main thing, in my opinion, is that whatever you do, just live with it. Do not languish in regret or complain about the consequences. If you are going to say screw work or homework or whatever life is calling you to do, then really forget about it for awhile and enjoy that. You will have to own up to it sooner or later, and that's just the way it is, but at least you got some freedom. At least you got to be human by making a choice.