Darfur - What more can be said?

Today thousands rallied in Washington DC to end the genocide in Darfur, Sudan - Thousands Gather in DC at Rally for Darfur

What I don't understand is how much more speaking up it will take for our elected and international leaders to MAKE SOMETHING HAPPEN. I can't tell you how many emails I've gotten to raise awareness on the murders (over 200,000 people killed so far), displacements (over 2,000,000 so far), and rapes. I can't tell you how many newspaper articles I've seen. And yet the genocide continues.

WHAT MORE CAN WE DO? COME ON, LEADERS. Lead for once, damnit! Does no one feel pressed to make this a priority? What are the roadblocks to sending a multinational peacekeeping force? I know that negotiations are underway... I know it is a very, very difficult and complex process. But I'm just extremely frustrated with this whole thing. Leaders should be representing the people, and the people want effective action NOW.

Versions of your life

I'm reading a novel called The Myth of You & Me by Leah Stewart (a Chapel Hill, NC writer... woohoo). Last night before turning out the light, I was looking for a good stopping point and found it in this quote...

"I'm asking you, of all possible versions of your life, why have you chosen this one?"

What a great question.

Signed my name without lifting a pen

Well I have seen the shadow in this valley of death
I've trembled in its icy stare while drinking from its dregs
Taking my life in my own hands
I've taken my life in my own hands...

Well who am I to say I shall not fear?
When I've seen the seat where Mercy sits and scoffed at my own need for it
I've signed my name to treaties without lifting a pen
Cause the heart is a strange pretender
And the face is a poker hand...

I will write my own song, I will write my own song
From the depth that is in a soul comes a seed of hope
To write my own song.

(Dog Named David, "Write My Own Song")

Geisha, which we like to call Gaysha ;-)

Finally got to watch Memoirs of a Geisha last night! With Curt. (Sorry Jasmin that we didn't get to watch it! And bah humbug to all the rest of you. Hehe.) I really enjoyed it... it's not life-changing but it's a great story.

There's a lot to react to (Susan..:) but I just wanted to say the two positive things that I loved the most.

One, a simple act of kindness not only changed a little girl's life forever... but it did so by profoundly affecting her very spirit, her life... giving her a drive that let her survive extremely difficult circumstances. That's awesome.

And secondly, the scene I remember the most, is when the older mean geisha gets banished out to the streets (her name is Hatsumomo), and walks away in the nighttime rain, devastated and totally alone in the world... the main character (Sayuri) makes some comment to the effect that... I wonder if I am looking at my future. Are we so different? She once loved. She once dreamed. Is this my future, too?

For someone to look at their "enemy" with these eyes... to see that we are so much like even our worst enemies... wow. That is what impacted me the most.

Raping the environment

[President Bush] also said he is directing the Environmental Protection Agency to grant temporary waivers of local clean-fuel requirements with the aim of relieving gasoline shortages in some parts of the country.
(From Bush Orders Probe Into Gas Pricing)

[President Bush] also directed the Environmental Protection Agency to use its authority to temporarily waive air quality laws in states if that would relieve a local gasoline supply shortage.
(From Bush Eases Environmental Rules on Gasoline)

Warning: The next few lines are an internet temper tantrum: GAAAAHHHHIkajes;lrkj3^%@$%#sdlkjflejh%&^#(*%(#()$@(%*W*UDSOJFDKJflksjdxkdnmckjnmksdj;kjesrfkjkmnkxns
jkndf!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Only swear words come to mind. Also phrases such as, sorry but, SICK BASTARD! I am so angry, not just as the President's move, but at all our leaders who are gambling with our future and our children's future. It's so sick. There's no creativity anymore (when it comes to government and policy). No innovation. No positive movement forward. What's happening with oil prices and rumors of war (Iran, Iraq) and genocide and environmental change and so much more... it's not right, and it's not even totally necessary. Partly it's just sinful humanity, yes. Partly, I believe, it's the result of a MALE-ruled world. But neither of these gets anyone off the hook.

It's just sad.

MySpace Ban & the Creative Class

Texas School Bans MySpace

Hehehe.

It's just funny. Someone told me recently MySpace has only even existed 2 years. And now we're all addicted. Crazy.

I'm reading this awesome book called The Rise of the Creative Class by a guy named Richard Florida. It is answering so many unformed questions I've had for a long time. I'll do a post about the book when I'm done or at least a few more chapters in. But suffice it to say that MySpace is a perfect fit in time and space for the market of people who need to be creative and align themselves with a very ecclectic array of interests, music, books, colors, fonts, graphics, and so on. We are post-work. (I love saying we are post-anything. Post-Christian. Post-modern. Post-cool is one of my personal favorites, because I think it's accurate. Well now I've gotten off topic and forgot where I was going with this whole thing. I'm post-thought.)

I caved in and joined the MySpace thingy majig, too.

9/11

First of all, can I just say I am hating the term "conspiracy theory"? The fact that you question the official account of anything suddenly makes you a conspiracy theorist, which means you're paranoid and overly imaginative. How about conspiracy detector, eh.

Secondly, to those of you who watched Loose Change and are willing to consider we know less about what happened on 9/11 than we thought... when you share this with people, some will get very defensive. Why, I don't know. Here's what you need to know: they will make your conversation very general and superficial. My cousin is equating it to believing in UFOs and who-shot-Kennedy conspiracies. Others just use contemptuous words like "ridiculous" and "dumb." Don't let them get away with this. The movie primarily deals in pieces of concrete evidence which raise specific questions. Stay on the questions. Don't have a stake in the outcome. Just the questions... just the truth. If it all turns out to be crap, at least I reached that conclusion honestly and with integrity.

My latest interaction with this is on my friend Sarah's husband Anthony's blog. Haha. Long way of saying that.

Loose Change.. WATCH IT NOW

Please stop whatever you are doing and watch this documentary right now. If you have a working brain, if you have any interest in truth-seeking and truth-finding, if you are willing to consider even 10 percent of what this film has to say... it will absolutely shock you and change your entire perspective.

Loose Change - The 9/11 Documentary
(It's 1 hr and 20 minutes long. You can watch it online through Google Video.)

Please watch it. Please tell me what you think.

And while we're at it.... check out this Wikipedia definition of extraordinary rendition. I've seen an interview with a guy who experienced this extraordinary rendition by the United States and he was eventually released... he was totally innocent. It includes kidnapping, interrogation, torture, months away from your family, and no clue what is happening or where you are or why this is happening to you. It is a mockery of human rights, the rule of law, and all things American and HUMAN. Seriously.

You gotta love this email

Dear Jenny,

(Insert specific CD and price info here...)

Your CD has been gently taken from our CD Baby shelves with sterilized contamination-free gloves and placed onto a satin pillow.

A team of 50 employees inspected your CD and polished it to make sure it was in the best possible condition before mailing.

Our packing specialist from Japan lit a candle and a hush fell over the crowd as he put your CD into the finest gold-lined box that money can buy.

We all had a wonderful celebration afterwards and the whole party marched down the street to the post office where the entire town of Portland waved 'Bon Voyage!' to your package, on its way to you, in our private CD Baby jet on this day, Friday, April 21st.

I hope you had a wonderful time shopping at CD Baby. We sure did. Your picture is on our wall as 'Customer of the Year'. We're all exhausted but can't wait for you to come back to CDBABY.COM!!

Thank you once again,
Derek Sivers, president, CD Baby
the little CD store with the best new independent
musicphone: 1-800-448-6369
email: cdbaby@cdbaby.com
http://cdbaby.com/

End the info age, please

The information age is totally out of control. I cannot believe how much time I spend just mentally and physically sifting through information that is not relevant to me. Well, it may be relevant, but I have to decide. I have to make millions of these decisions everyday. It is too much!

I get e-newsletters from Sojourners (that's new but uhh okay), Speaking of Faith, Relevant, NPR, the Writer's Almanac, Yahoo, the US Postal Service, Wheaton College, Brewing Culture, Mitch McVicker, Jars of Clay, Rascal Flatts, Rob Thomas, Human Rights First, the Chamber of Commerce, John Edwards, the DNC, and SO SO SO MANY MORE! I'm just naming a few here.

This doesn't even include all the businesses that email me various bills each month (cell phone, landline, car insurance, student loans, etc.) and it doesn't include the fact that I write e-newsletters for a living. Yes, I participate in the evil deed itself!

It doesn't include the news that comes at me on television or in the newspaper. Or on my google homepage. Or in a variety of other advertisements online.

It doesn't include the junk mail that I throw away from my mailbox everyday. More trees dying... yep. The credit card solicitations alone are enough to make my blood pressure rise. I DON'T WANT THE CARD. Stop it already!

This doesn't include the hundreds of thousands of beautiful looking, brand new books and magazines that assault my eyes when I step into Barnes and Noble or Borders. (I honestly usually have to pause for a minute to visually look around the store, breathe, and take it all in.) Or the magazines and package covers everytime I go grocery shopping. There's always a new line of yogurt... a new way of putting together cookies and candy (yuck)... a new way to bake or flavor what should be a simple cracker.

Everything is commercials. Everything - advertising. Information. Knowledge is extremely cheap these days. Knowledge is like a prostitute and I've lost respect for her.

I kind of just want to be ignorant. I want to go back to a place of silence in some ways. Don't get me wrong.. I do love stimulation. I'm as web-saavy and ADD as the next 20-something. I just think we all just need a collective break.

PS. Doesn't even include myspace... or itunes... or so many more infinite things. Mwaaaahhhhh

PPS. Reminds me of classic Walt Whitman... who I love. Don't be hating on the Whitman. You know who you are. I put in BOLD the part I am thinking of... but the whole excerpt I love.

I have heard what the talkers were talking,
the talk of the beginning and the end
But I do not talk of the beginning or the end.
There was never any more inception than there is now,
Nor any more youth or age than there is now,
And will never be any more perfection than there is now,
Nor any more heaven or hell than there is now.

Urge and urge and urge,
Always the procreant urge of the world.
Out of the dimness opposite equals advance,
always substance and increase, always sex,
Always a knit of identity, always distinction,
always a breed of life.
To elaborate is no avail, learn'd and unlearn'd feel that it is so.

Man has no choice when he wants everything

... and other good lyrics from "The Scarlet Tide" which I finally am just HEARING for the first time tonight. Funny how I can listen to something a hundred times before I hear it. Or is it hear before I listen? You know what I mean, you punk :)

Well I recall his parting words
Must I accept his fate
Or take myself far from this place

I thought I heard a black bell toll
A little bird did sing
Man has no choice
When he wants everything

We'll rise above the scarlet tide
That trickles down through the mountain
And separates the widow from the bride

Man goes beyond his own decision
Gets caught up in the mechanism
Of swindlers who act like kings
And brokers who break everything

The dark of night was swiftly fading
Close to the dawn of day
Why would I want him just to lose him again

We'll rise above the scarlet tide
That trickles down through the mountain
And separates the widow from the bride

Google Calendar

Finally, Google Calendar has launched!

I love it! Google is so smart and intuitive. It is so responsive to my needs. It is so friendly and always there for me. It is taking over the world, but I like it. (It may qualify as the Anti-Christ, I'm not sure yet... but it's definitely on its way to world domination!)

I used to be anti-Google but they're just so good lately.

Vivid dream

I had the most vivid dream last night...

We were on a road trip. It included all the Ohio people... but I really only remember Jason, Charlie, and Kristina being in the car... as well as my brother Mike who was with us, too. Actually we had two cars for some reason. We were going to Rapid City, South Dakota where we used to live. For some reason, we went to my brother's friend's Troy's house. I didn't understand why we went there except that Troy's father recently died and I thought, oh okay, Michael hasn't seen him since then and he wants to see how Troy is doing.

Well, while we were getting out of the car or waiting... I have to add that my Dad was present at this point too. And we got out of the car, and it was snowy everywhere. You couldn't see the sky really... everything was just white and misty. It was really quiet and very beautiful. I don't remember how she came toward me, but she was on a bike... it was my friend Bronywn from college. Bronwyn is Turkish. (Actually she's one of my myspace friends, so she's findable : ) She was wearing all red in a very beautiful, sort of cultural way. Her clothes were bright red, and her hair was bright red too. I think this was a Regina Spektor reference in my mind because of how she was dressed the other night. Bronwyn looked so beautiful with all her red contrasting against the white/grey snow. Anyway, this is the cool thing about the whole dream... she wasn't dead, I don't think, but she was present in another part of the world. Oh yeah! What happened is I said, what are you doing here? You're supposed to be doing the Peace Corps? (Which is my brain getting her confused with my friend Jen who is doing PC.) And what was happening is that she was in that other part of the world, which I think for her was Tajikistan, but we were meeting together in this realm. We were both wherever we really were, but we were meeting together. (And I've read about this happening. It happened to Martha Beck, who wrote Expecting Adam. I'm telling you this being apart physically but together spiritually thing... I think it really can happen.) My Dad and my brother were sort of tongue-tied and both said "Wow." And I couldn't believe that they could see her, too. I thought it was just me. She smiled and got back on her bike and rode back into the white mist.

I've never seen Snow Falling on Cedars. I'd like to. But this dream reminded me so much of that movie anyway.

I'm OK, you're OK

My desk is sorta covered in papers... ooh let's take a picture! YEAH for being functionally ADD. I'm about to clean it.

Anyway, this isn't a post about my desk or my papers. It's a post about gratitude. Yep. I'm grateful. Today I feel like recognizing and saying that this is real life... this is the life that happens when you're busy making other plans. And while we prepare for some saints to visit this weekend, and while I make a list prioritizing my work projects, and while I go grocery shopping (doh! the bags are still sitting on the counter! I need to put the cold stuff away)... While my mind is absolutely consumed with intricate details and tiny anxieties, the truth is that I am a grateful girl today. Content, if I will just stop long enough to admit it.

Today I was at a meeting with two ladies I'm doing a project for. (Ending preposition. Dang why does my blog writing suck so much when I'm supposed to be a professional writer? lol This is uncensored me.) Anyway, the meeting went well, which I feel great about. And then I was thinking how these two ladies are pretty much heaven-sent because they're wonderful to work with, especially as my first clients in my new capacity. I really do feel like God made that happen. Not to be too weird but it's true okay?! He gave me exactly who I needed. The timing was beautiful, too.

And then I was thinking how church life here in Raleigh, even the tiny hints and beginnings of church life which is really all that we have and all that we are right now (nothing full-fledged yet), church life here is another big slap of grace in my life. How I just came into these friendships which are actually family-ships... uhh.. brothers and sisters... people who know me not just for me, but for Christ in me and me in Christ... something deeper and more lasting than anything this world can offer... Seriously. How I went from a year ago being in DC not being involved in any church life to today being united with these people and many more... it is really strange and miraculous if you think about it. And ultimately has little to do with me which makes its joy all the more important and shout-out-able. I don't know if you know what I'm getting at. There's a whole long story here that provides context. But if you're reading this, you probably know it.

If possible, stop long enough to admit that you are content today. Confess it and be free. And if you can't because it's not true... then you have even more reason to stop what you're doing.

God energy at concerts

We just got back from seeing Regina Spektor at the 9:30 Club in DC.

F r i e k i n Amazing. Oh my gosh.

This is why I get so excited about live music. Here's why. Okay. There is this energy in the room at a live concert like Regina Spector's. It's like there is this invisible line going down the middle of the club and that line is God's will, or God's purpose or destiny for someone's life. And tonight Regina was totally intersecting with that line. I know this may sound crazy. I have no cool theology to back it up. But I sense such a joy and just... fullness of being at these events. It is quite literally enough positive energy to last me for a month. I'm not even kidding. It does something to me. She is really brilliant.

Get her new CD when it comes out. Listen to her songs at http://www.myspace.com/reginaspektor Have fun. I wish I had photos but I don't. Maybe one of the people who had their camera phones today will post something cool on the internet.

Wrestling... all day

Hhhhhhhhhhhhhhollllyyyyyy toledo! Today was an extremely close call. Let's relive the entire story, shall we?

So I went to this coffee shop downtown. It's a really hot day, and I sat outside with my computer and some papers, starting to put in some hours on a particular project. I got an iced chai and a mediterranean plate of food. The iced chai was soo white and milky and good. Oh my gosh. I was in heaven. However, there was a slight breeze, so I moved the drink to sit between my arms and the laptop so it wouldn't spill. By the way, let it be known that I am a lid person and really wanted a lid but they didn't seem to have any. Well, somehow a few minutes later, I knocked the freakin drink everywhere! White skirt... covered in chai. Table... covered in chai. COMPUTER - YES, COVERED IN CHAI!

I was momentarily embarassed and then just got to cleaning it up. When that was all done, I realized that my computer was no longer recognizing the keyboard. Doh! So, since everything else seemed to be working fine, I restarted my computer...

Okay now I have to tell you that my computer is STILL spazzing out as I type this. It is demon possessed at this point. But back to the story...

So I restarted and yet, I couldn't. Nothing. Nada. No green light. To make a long story short, it was totally kaput, and I called several computer repair places, and panicked as I thought about all the work I've done recently that I hadn't been backed up yet, and all my programs and files, and.... ahhhhhhhhh! Just a horrible thought.

Well I had my gym clothes with me so I still went to the gym. What was I gonna do - go home and cry? I set my laptop in my (hot) trunk propped up like an A to see if the liquid would dry. That was my Dad's idea... he's brilliant. haha.

Came home several hours later. Plugged in the laptop. Prayed. Prayed. Prayed.

IT'S WORKING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is a huge miracle. Seriously. I am so relieved. Thank you GOD.

And finally, in random news, I wanted to tell you all, whoever you are, that I had a cool dream last night. I have this huge lion picture as my background. Here it is below. And last night, this lion made it into my dreams. I was sort of playing with him, and I was fearful yet I liked him. And he kept biting my right arm... not hurting me really, but he had a toothy grip on my right arm. And I think my friends or family were trying to help me by convincing him to let me go. Anyway, I just thought it was a cool dream. A little Aslanic if you know what I mean. A little Jenny meets Jacob and the angel wrestling. Aww yeah :) Let's have more of those symbolic dreams.

Imperialism? It's not a wild guess.

US building massive embassy in Iraq

Read this article in full. Ask yourself what you would think and feel if you were an Iraqi woman (or maybe in your case, man :) watching this monstrous fortress being established in your country's capital city.

This is out of control.

A cry for help

Isn't it annoying how people disguise their cries for help? I mean sometimes you don't know if they're happy to have lost all hope, or if they just need some encouragement. What's up with the mixed signals?

Well let me help you out. The previous post is a cry for help!! Some people have interpreted my bad day as the perfect time to say "you're right, quit now." Dearly beloved friends. lol This is not cool. I was having a bad day and need to persevere!!! Why am I giving myself the pep talk here?!

Anyway, I desperately need some new music. You know how when you get a CD, you go through this stage in the first week where you are totally infatuated with it? That's what I need. A CD worthy of my infatuation. Let me know if you have an idea.

Instability

I feel like a big baby caving in like this, but... I don't know. Ever since my biggest client has needed me MUCH less (significantly affecting my paycheck and my job certainty) and ever since I owed a gajillion dollars on my federal taxes and ever since I am such a big procrastinator and enjoy playing way too much to get any work done... ever since all THAT, I've just been thinking a little more and more about going back to a regular job. I don't know. I LOVE freelancing but it's haaaaaaaaaaard. Yes, that was said with a big, whiney voice. And you have to sell yourself endlessly, and I haaaaaate that. And you don't have a team to work with, and strangely enough, I miss that. Well, I've never really had a good team to work with in a professional setting, but I still - naively maybe - believe that such a thing exists. That you can actually be professionally supported at work and feel valued and get stuff done within reasonable guidelines! I would absolutely love to be given realistic amounts of time and space to produce good work. My former workplace did not allow this, and I don't know why I didn't foresee this, but starting your own business doesn't allow this. Someone told me the other day that it takes 2 to 3 years to establish yourself professionally. Gahh!! I mean in an independent contractor type way. That is forever-long. I don't even THINK in 2 or 3 year terms.

So, should I go back to working for the man? There are definitely pros and definitely cons. It's just that what I am doing now is serious risk-taking and I don't know if I am cut out for it. It's funny that none of this really occurred to me until now... maybe it's just fear. Who knows. I have absolutely no idea where I will be (job-wise) 6 or 12 or 24 months from now.

Relativity

Let me do my part to make you all feel better by sharing my pain...

I owe the freakin' government an insane amount of money this April 15!!!!!!! I was going to post the amount but I think that kind of disclosure may cross the ye olde privacy line. Trust me... INSANE.

I was thinking about just cutting the check direct to Halliburton. Whatdya think? Haha.

No but really.. that's some crazy stuff. If you owe any amount of money, you should feel great about it now cause relatively speaking, I'm sure it doesn't compare. As an independent contractor, I need to start a separate account just to save so I can pay my taxes next year. Seriously. This is new to me.

Do unborn children feel pain?

Fetuses Cannot Experience Pain

This is an interesting article. I tend to agree with the last paragraph. But interesting article. If we could kill elderly people or prisoners with absolutely no pain, would that have any bearing on the morality of the act? Of course not. But I digress. The fact that babies do not experience pain until they are born is really remarkable. If you could invade the womb before the baby was born, I am sure you could inflict pain on the "fetus" (baby) at that point. Come on, I know you could. I guess he is just saying the baby left alone in the womb will feel no pain. So then terminating a pregnancy falls into the category of...?

I really just think it's an interesting article. No solid conclusions here. No real opinions - don't feel threatened. hehe.

Iranian nukes

Can we please NOT nuke Iran for having nukes? Can we give peace a chance, people?

So addicted, so bad

Oh my gosh. I am so addicted to the internet. This is not cool at all.

So, first of all, we steal internet. Yes, that's right, we freely access and take advantage of that which is our neighbor's unsecured wireless network. I've always appreciated this woman who does not secure her network! Big savings. Much obliged.

One time it went down for a few days. That was not good at all. But it came back!

An hour or two ago, her network started showing up in my list as secured. This is like in the movie Elf, when Santa tells Buddy that his Dad is on the naughty list. The only response is a loud, irrational:

NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ahem.

I seriously did not know what to do with myself for the last hour. You may think that is somewhere on the continuum between silly and sick. I can only agree with you. I went and put my laundry in the washer (in another building). Okay. I had dinner. All right. I went to the gas station down the street to get a diet coke and some quarters for the dryer. Sweet. Then I tried calling my Mom, no answer. Tried calling my Dad, no answer. That's weird. Went to the movie store and rented North Country and the new Pride and Prejudice. Took my time in the parking lot because it's dusk and it's beautiful. That's about it.

Came back and the internet is back up.

I half wish maybe it wasn't. I really need to break this addiction.

Treason = Death

On Friday's Real Time with Bill Maher Ben Affleck ranted that President Bush “probably leaked” Valerie Plame's name. Affleck said, “if he did, you can be hung for that! That's treason!” The actor continued: “You could be killed. That's not a joking around Tom DeLay 'I'll do a year, I bribed the state officials with corporate money.' That's like they shoot you in the battlefield for doing that." Let's just all be glad Affleck isn't in politics ...4/10/06 11:50 AM
(Got this from Relevant)

This CIA leak thing is beyond out of control. There is no oversight in our nation's capital right now (or Capitol). It's a scary Republican-held little world (and I'm sure it would be just as scary if it were a Democrat-held world... we need some checks and balances people!) I am so.... disillusioned and disgusted with all of this. Apparently Bush can do nothing to get himself fired... nothing to provoke enough indignation. It just makes you want to not care and that's not good.

I realize that the point of this article (that originated from a "liberals are losers" type of news site) is that Affleck's "rant" - nice word choice by the way - is totally ridiculous. Call me crazy, but I think there is something very shady and very likely criminal going on.

Triceps

Oh... my... gosh! I have triceps!!!! HA!

It's too bad I've never seen them before now but there they are... this working out thing is really starting to pay off.

Give me a few more months and who knows what will appear through this skin. lol

I saw this side of Raleigh today

At the Cardinal Club on the 28th floor. I tell ya... being part of the Chamber is like getting a year-long introduction to the city. It's great.



I got both of these from RaleighSkyline.com.

It's raining in...

I love rain outside an open window in the evening... at any time of night. Especially when you can feel the light breeze coming in and you're watching a movie or just being with people. Yeah... I like that.

And it makes me think of this song, which I have loved ever since I was about 11. Or something. Ever since I was little anyway.

The circus is falling down on its knees
The big top is crumbling down
It's raining in Baltimore, fifty miles east
Where you should be
No one's around

I need a phone call
I need a raincoat
I need a big love
I need a phone call...

These train conversations are passing me by
And I don't have nothing to say
You get what you paid for but I just had no
Intention of living this way.

I need a phone call
I need a plane ride
I need a sunburn
I need a raincoat.

And I get no answers
And I don't get no change
It's raining in Baltimore, baby
But everything else is the same.

There's things I'll remember
Things I'll forget
I MISS YOU. I guess that I should
Three thousand five hundred miles away
What would you change if you could?

I need a phone call
Maybe I should buy a new car?
I can always hear a freight train...
Baby if I listen real hard
And I wish, I wish it was a small world
Cause I'm lonely for the big towns
I like to hear a little guitar
I guess it's time to put the top down
I need a phone call
I need a raincoat
I really need a raincoat
Really, really need a raincoat... really really really need a raincoat
I really need a raincoat.

This is Counting Crows at their best. None of this Accidentally in Love crap. They do their best when singing out their lonely little hearts.

I've realized lately that I really like sad songs. I don't know why cause I'm not a sad person but I just really like sad songs.

Um yeah

Maybe you're not all as lucky to be able to say this as I am... but I will truly never again underestimate my ability to make a situation 10x more awkward than necessary.

Eeeeexcellent.

I also will never underestimate my ability to waste HOURS AND HOURS!! So not okay. I mean it is fine, whatever, but making up for it is rough.

Just feeling all around down on myself. Blah. Can I go on a vacation or something?

Summatime

It is crazy hot in North Carolina!

What concerns me is not so much the actual heat, but the fact that I seem to be the only person that feels this way.

I just discovered Pullen Park, which is downtown near NC State. I went down there today with a blanket, some music, and a book, all intended to induce a state of chill and a slight riiiiiiiiiise in melatonin. There were so many couples, children, picnic lunches, footballs, strollers, and on and on. What was especially cute is one whole park shelter was full of families (I think the requirement must have been to bring at least one young, happy child per adult.) I wasn't exactly sure what they were doing but it involved balloons and Easter baskets. So I'm lying on this hill reading my book, when something white and furry starts moving in my periphery... Yes, the Easter Bunny walked over the hill.

The children lost it.

They were soooo happy. It was a mass movement to run and embrace this lovable, if not scary, man-sized Easter bunny. Very cute and made me smile. I even tried to take a cameraphone picture but it was too far away... sorry.

Anyway, my whole point with this story is that tons of people at the park were in jeans and sneakers (and t-shirts lol). I was in a skirt, a tank top, and flip flops (we're talking maximum circulation) and STILL dying!!

I am afraid that I may have moved way too far south. The summer is going to be rough.

Survey of 4s

Four Jobs I've had:

concessions at a car race track (for 1 day! HA! We got fired I guess.)
news room assistant at city newspaper
waitress
communications director

Four movies I'd watch over and over again:

With Honors
You've Got Mail or Sleepless in Seattle (What's the difference really?)
The original Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
LOTR: Return of the King

Four Places I've Lived:

Topeka, KS
Rapid City, SD
Moorhead, MN
Wheaton, IL

Four TV shows I love to watch:

The Apprentice
The Office
American Idol
A Wedding Story or A Baby Story

Four Websites I visit daily:

my personalized Google homepage
Wikipedia.com
Flickr's interestingness (not everyday but often)
Someone's blog or myspace

Four places I've been on Vacation:

Ozarks, Missouri
New England (MA, ME, Montreal, Canada, etc.)
New York
San Francisco

Four foods I love:

Chocolate
Chai and coffee (Yes I'm going to put them on one line.. what're you gonna do about it? :)
Spanakopita
My Dad's Shepherd's Pie (ground beef, peas, mashed potatoes, and lots of cheese)

Four places I'd rather be:

Sitting on a huge porch on Cape Cod overlooking the ocean
At a concert
In a swimming pool in the middle of summer
Italy, Ireland, or Greece

Tagging:

If the spirit moves ya, do this survey :)