They just thought I'd know better...

Does anyone ever read my blog anymore? No, because I suck at updating it. I'm beginning the slow demise into the abyss of bloglessness. Life is just getting tricky to write about in this open, honest way. Is that weird? I guess it's because now, the things that matter often happen in the context of a committed and intimate relationship, and even though these things aren't secret, they are better kept private. Is that cryptic enough? lol

So speaking of this guy that is indirectly affecting my blogging ways... Tom is, as you all should know, a huge Guns N Roses fan. Pretty crazy. I mean it's not everyday you run into someone who's favorite band is GNR.

But the band has grown on me so much - I kid you not. They make really fun, really rocking music. I can't believe I said rocking but that's the only word to describe it.

And the actual point of this post is that you should look online for a song from the upcoming GNR album Chinese Democracy. There are tons of songs that have been leaked. But the one that I love is called "Better." Check it out. It's pretty amazing. Apparently some GNR fans think it's horrible but Tom and I are big fans of the new direction of things.

Oh, and if you're like, GNR? Are they still around? Basically Axl Rose bought the rights to the band name, got all new band members, and has spent 10 years and $15 million working on Chinese Democracy. Will it ever really come out? If the songs are like "Better," I hope so!

Love song for a man

If he were a color - he'd be deep, dark forest green
If he were a car - he'd be a long stretch limousine
With room for all of humanity inside
'Cause he is so giving and he is so wise

If he were a number - he'd be a 5, cause he has such a brilliant mind
If he were an animal - he'd be an ass (haha)
'Cause he's so stubborn sometimes...

If he were a song - he'd be a complicated melody
(That complicated fellow, he)
I almost cannot sing on key
He means the world to me...

If he were a building - he'd be a beautiful cathedral cause he's so traditionally spiritual
If he were a dance - he'd be complicated like the tango
Exotic like a mango

But if he were a song - he'd be a complicated melody
(That complicated fellow, he)
I almost cannot sing on key
But he means the world to me...

He ain't the reason for the sun and the moon
He's just the reason for this here tune
Cause he means the world to me
I said he means the world to me

That complicated melody
That complicated fellow, he
He's a complicated melody
I almost cannot sing it on key

("Complicated Melody," India Arie)

Feels like today

I woke up this morning
With this feeling inside me that I can't explain
Like a weight that I've carried, been carried away

But I know something is coming
I don't know what it is but I know
It's amazing, can save me, my time is coming
I'll find my way out
Of this longest drought

And it feels like today, I know
It feels like today, I'm sure
It's the one thing that's missing
The one thing I'm wishing
Life's sacred blessing and then,
It feels like today, feels like today

You treat life like a picture
But it's not a moment that frozen in time
It's not gonna wait till you make up your mind, at all

So while this storm is breaking
While there's light at the end of the tunnel
Keep running towards it
Releasing the pressure that's your heartache
Soon this dam will break

And it feels like today, I know
It feels like today, I'm sure
It's the one thing that's missing
The one thing I'm wishing
The last sacred blessing and then, it feels like today
Feels like today

("Feels Like Today," Rascal Flatts)

You don't know lovely you are

Celebrate the U2-charist

The Church of England is celebrating the U2-charist to encounter the Lord this year. I'm sure some of you would ridicule that (yes, you know who you are), but hey, more power to them.

Anything for Love

Alcohol

This song exemplifies the genius of modern country music. :)

I can make anybody pretty
I can make you believe any lie
I can make you pick a fight with somebody twice your size.
Well I've been known to cause a few break-ups
And I've been known to cause a few births
I can make you new friends or get you fired from work...

And since the day I left Milwaukee
Lynchberg and Bordeaux, France
Been makin' the bars
Lots of big money
And helpin' white people dance
I got you in trouble in high school
But college, now that was a ball
You had some of the best times you'll never remember with me:
ALCOHOL!!!!!!!!

I got blamed at your wedding reception
For your best man's embarassing speech
And also for those naked pictures of you at the beach
I've influenced kings and world leaders
I helped Hemingway write like he did
I'll bet you a drink or two that I can make you put that lampshade on your head

Cause since the day I left Milwaukee
Lynchberg, Bordeaux, France
Been makin' a fool of
Folks just like you
And helpin' white people dance
I am medicine and I am poison
I can help you up or make you fall
You had some of the best times you'll never remember with me:
ALCOHOL!!!!!!!!

(Alcohol, Brad Paisley)

Everybody's free to feel good

Everybody's free
everybody's free
everybody's free

Everybody's free
everybody's free
to feel good
to feel good.

Brother and sister, together we'll make it through
oh yeah
Someday a spirit will take you and guide you there
I know you've been hurting
but I've been waiting to be there for you
And I'll be there, just helping you out whenever I can

Everybody's free to feel good.

(Quindon Tarver, "Everybody's Free," Soundtrack of Romeo + Juliet)

Meet the thorn

To touch the rose unfearful
Is to meet the thorn
And pierce the heart's emotion
And feel the emptiness no more.

(Jars of Clay, "No One Loves Me Like You")

Love came and we were all afraid

I am still running
Oh, I am still running
Running from the knowledge
That eye, that love

Oh, I am still running
I am still running
Running from the knowledge
From which there's no refuge

For you meant only love - and loved
And I felt only fear and pain

So once in Israel
LOVE CAME
And we were all afraid.

("Still Running," eastmountainsouth)

I know I've blogged about this song before. I just like it. So take that.

I'm at a bakery-cafe in Northern Virgina and SOMETHING AMAZING just came out of the ovens... smells like toffee and brown sugar and everything wonderful. Yummm. It's cold and it's rainy and I love it.

So I think I may drive back to Raleigh tonight, depending upon whether Liz will surface or not.

Heart's cry

You know that song Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol?

It sounds to me like a Vineyard worship song... or some kind of heartful, honest song to God. I like that the song is popular right now. In some weird way, it actually gives me hope for humanity.

And I've been thinking of humanity a lot in the last few days. I'm in the DC area. There are a freakin' LOT of people here. They stress me out. There are lots of hot people (more than Raleigh, lol). There are lots of foreign-born people. They are operating the empire (that's for you, Micah) right here from this city. Mostly they are each just playing very small parts of it. Tons of them are housekeepers or roofers for the homes of people running the empire. Anyway, humanity all around...

Loveology, Forgive-me-ology

Listen to this song, "Loveology" by Regina Spektor. (It will take a minute to download... be patient.)

Oh, an incurable humanist you are.

Let's go to the movies,
I will hum you a song about nothing at all

Let's go to the movies, Let's go to the movies,
Nothing at all, Nothing at all, Nothing at all, Nothing at all.

Oh, An incurable humanist you are.

Let's go to the movies,
I will hum you a song about nothing at all

Let's go to the movies,
I will sing you a song about nothing at all

Let's go to the movies, Let's go to the movies,
Nothing at all, Nothing at all, Nothing at all, Nothing at all.

Sit down class, open up your textbooks to page 42.

Porcupine-ology, antler-ology, car-ology, bus-ology, train-ology, plane-ology, mama-ology, papa-ology,you-ology, me-ology, love-ology, kiss-ology, stay-ology, please-ology.

Let's study class, let's study class. Sit down.

Love-ology, love-ology, I'm sorry-ology, forgive me-ology, love-ology, love-ology, I'm sorry-ology, forgive me-ology, love-ology, Love-ology.

Let's study class, let's study class.

Love-ology. Let's study class, sit down.

Love-ology, love-ology, I'm sorry-ology, forgive me-ology, love-ology, love-ology. I'm sorry-ology, forgive me-ology, love-ology, Love-ology.

Love-ology

Oh, an incurable humanist you are
Oh, forgive me, Oh, forgive me, Oh.
Forgive me, forgive me, forgive me-ology

Regina revisited

Sooo my friend Gina (not REgina) called me on Saturday night - when I was on a spontaneous trip in the mountains of North Carolina - to tell me REgina Spektor was playing in DC in a few days and ohh how she wished she had someone to go with. I gave her Regina's CD a few months ago, so she didn't know anyone else who liked her besides me.

So, begrudgingly, hesitantly (HA), I said I will go! I didn't think it was super wise - I really paused for about 120 seconds with the phone in my hand thinking about driving up to DC on one afternoon and heading back the next morning - but I wanted to carpe diem. After all, I may not be a freelancer forever so I intend to start actively enjoying the benefits of schedulelessness.

(As an aside, the whole thing turned into a business trip which I will, within hours, have very good news or very bad news about... I'm waiting for a phone call or email.)

So we saw Regina last night at the 9:30 Club! She is an amazing songwriter and singer. I don't know if I would exactly say she's an amazing performer because she's pretty shy on stage, but she is amazing at her art. There is literally no one in the world like her. She is silly and playful and beautiful and nasty and profane all at the same time. It's quite special.

I saw her last at Easter (6 months ago) and the shows were very similar. The main differences were that (1) she has gotten significantly more famous since the last show. The place was totally packed out which I wasn't thrilled with, but hey... it's a great small venue nonetheless, and (2) She now has a band for half of the set. Which makes it harder to understand her awesome sing-songy storytelling and probably irritates all the people who think she has sold out to pop, but I think she's just enjoying it.

The only other little reflection I have on Regina's concert is that her fans, like most devoted fans of anyone famous, totally idolize her. The whole crowd was staring at her in silent amazement and, in some way, worship. It makes me kind of sad because... isn't each person worthy of such love and adoration? Isn't the spark of the divine in every human life? No seriously! I know you think I'm going off on some ridiculous Catholic tangent, but the truth of the matter is that sometimes a person will do something special and it will remind you that you love that person and you will want to take ownership of them... you will want to be associated with them... and though that feeling comes and goes for the people in your life, they pretty much deserve it all the time - that love. I guess I just wish that the guy that asked me for a dollar on 14th Street yesterday could have what Regina had for even just 5 seconds.

A band worth noting

I would just like to give special acknowledgements to Jars of Clay who are, I believe, a really amazing band. You may think they're not cool, but you would be wrong! They have created so many amazing songs, and each CD has its own unique feel. I am impressed at the music that has come out of those guys. Being able to write so many different songs, both musically and lyrically, is a huge feat. I currently love this song Work and should not under any circumstances buy any CDs right now but I really want their new one. Gah! :)

Anyway, let's revisit an old favorite... from their first CD which was groundbreaking in every way. You should listen to this song again if you have it.

Liquid

Arms nailed down - are you telling me something?
Eyes turned out - are you looking for someone?
This is the one thing
The one thing that I know

Blood-stained brow - are you dying for nothing?
Flesh and blood - is it so elemental?
And this is the one thing
The one thing that I know

Blood-stained brow - he wasn't broken for nothing.
Arms nailed down -he didn't die for nothing.
This is the one thing
The one thing that I know.

Play an ipod game with me

Well here's a fun distraction...

Step 1: Put your MP3 player on random.
Step 2: Post the first one or two lines from the first 20 songs that play, no matter how embarrassing the song.
Step 3: Post and let everyone you know guess what song and artist the lines come from.
Step 4: Strike out the songs when someone guesses correctly.

1. While we're young and beautiful, kiss me like you mean it...

2. A woman who in childhood was physically abused by her father may find that her pain body becomes easily activated in any close relationship with a man. (this is spoken word, not music :)

3. I should tell you, I should tell you... Benny wasn't anyth... shhhh... I know...

4. I will come to you, you don't mind this mess, cause I have brushed up my act but I'm still an orphan in rags tryin' to look her best

5. I hear the ticking of the clock - I'm lying here, the room's pitch dark... (Heart, "Alone," guessed by Cornett Snack)

6. When I am (?)... then I am all alone, burdened by my sin and shame, there's one place I can go

7. I want you to meditate on your body's ability to heal itself... (spoken word again)

8. I came home tonight, I came home so I could hide out, the shadows have become my sun and I feel like I'm the only one who's shady. (Aaron Espe, "The Reduse," guessed by Cornett Snack)

9. This means that your happiness and your unhappiness are in fact one; only the illusion of time separates them. (spoken word)

10. I liked the way my hand looked on your head in the presence of my knuckles, but the beauty of this vision alone just like yesterday's sunset has been perverted by the sentimental and mistaken for love. (Live, "Iris," guessed by Philip)

11. So much for never making the same mistake - I can't believe I'm here again...

12. Break our hearts, oh God, break our hearts...

13. In the glory of your presence I find peace, I find rest for my soul.

14. In a little cafe just the other side of the border, she was a-sitting there giving me looks that made my mouth water... (Jay and the Americans, "Come a Little Bit Closer," guessed by Philip)

15. More shine today, let's just say the admiration's been unfit for who I am

16. You have led me to the sadness, I have carried this pain on a back bruised and nearly broken, I'm crying out to you

17. There's a kind of emptiness that can fill you, there's a kind of hunger that can eat you up.

18. You sit and stare out at the sky and think of ways to fake a smile, but life is never what it seems - sometimes it only takes awhile...

19. 24 oceans, 24 skies, 24 failures, and 24 tries... 24 finds me in in 24th place

20. I was sleeping by the wasteside of tomorrow but it's better than sleeping by the wasteside of today

I will make you hurt

This music video is amazing. God invented music videos just for this, I think.

Hurt

I hurt myself today to see if I still feel
I focus on the pain, the only thing that's real
The needle tears a hole, the old familiar sting
Try to kill it all away, but I remember everything

What have I become? my sweetest friend
Everyone I know goes away in the end
And you could have it all - my empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt

I wear this crown of thorns upon my liar's chair
Full of broken thoughts I cannot repair
Beneath the stains of time, the feelings disappear
You are someone else, I am still right here

What have I become? my sweetest friend
Everyone I knowgoes away in the end
And you could have it all - my empire of dirt
I will let you down
I will make you hurt

If I could start again a million miles away
I would keep myself
I would find a way

(Johnny Cash, "Hurt")

The Open Door

I admit it, I'm excited about Evanescence's new CD releasing on October 3. I don't even have their previous ones, but I started liking them just as they retreated from the public world a couple years ago.

Bring it on home to me

My favorite song right now... I don't care if it's cliche, this is my love language!!! lol

Bring It On Home
(Little Big Town)

You got someone here wants to make it all right
Someone who loves you more than life right here...
You got willing arms that'll hold you tight
A hand to lead you on through the night right here...

I know your heart can get all tangled up inside
But don't you keep it to yourself

When your long day is over
And you can barely drag your feet
The weight of the world is on your shoulders
I know what you need - bring it on home to me.

You know I know you like the back of my hand
And you know I'm gonna do all that I can right here
Gonna lie with you till you fall asleep
When the morning comes, I'm still gonna be right here, yes I am

Take your worries and just drop them at the door
Baby, leave it all behind

When your long day is over
And you can barely drag your feet
The weight of the world is on your shoulders
I know what you need - bring it on home to me.

Baby, let me be your safe harbor
Don't let the water come and carry you away

When your long day is over
And you can barely drag your feet
The weight of the world is on your shoulders
I know what you need - bring it on home to me.

Only one 4-letter word

I think this song is somewhat genius. Haha.

Love You
Jack Ingram

Dang the sun, dang this day
And I'm just tryin to stay outta your danged ol' way
To heck with this, to heck with us
And shoot if I'll ever look back on where I've been
Shoot if I'll ever give away my heart again

Love you, love this town
Love this mother-lovin' truck that keeps breakin' lovin' down
There's only one four-letter word that'll do:
Love you

Love your cat, love this house
Well, I can't believe myself that I'm lovin' gettin' out
Love talkin, love fightin'
Thought of never seein' your lovin' face
There's some words that some words just have to replace

Love you, love this town
Yeah, I'm sick and lovin' tired of all your lovin' around
There's only one four-letter word that'll do
Love you

Love you, love this town
Yeah, I'm sick and lovin' tired of all your lovin' around
There's only one four-letter word that'll do:
Love you

Love you, love this town
Love this mother-lovin' truck that keeps breakin' lovin' down
There's only one four-letter word that'll do:
Love you
Love you
Love you
Love you, honey

Where'd you go?

I love the song and video for Where'd You Go (Fort Minor). Wow. It's really powerful.