Movie holiday

Movies I rented today with my Mom:

• All the King's Men
• The Devil Wears Prada
• Kate and Leopold
• The Family Stone
• An Affair to Remember

And this is just the beginning of Christmas break, my friends. Hehehe. Jasmin, movie aficionado, I wish you were here!

Everybody's free to feel good

Everybody's free
everybody's free
everybody's free

Everybody's free
everybody's free
to feel good
to feel good.

Brother and sister, together we'll make it through
oh yeah
Someday a spirit will take you and guide you there
I know you've been hurting
but I've been waiting to be there for you
And I'll be there, just helping you out whenever I can

Everybody's free to feel good.

(Quindon Tarver, "Everybody's Free," Soundtrack of Romeo + Juliet)

Half Nelson

I went and saw Half Nelson this afternoon. It's a movie about a white inner-city history teacher and his friendship with a young black girl (she's on the basketball team he coaches). So, I realize there are a lot of movies that sound like this, but what sets this one apart? I guess it's that the teacher is so messed up. He's a crack addict. The girl (Drey) sees him at his worst, more than once.

Mutual brokenness...

Brokenness from the one who should, for every reason, be strong.

I just read this on IMDB, and it's a pretty good summary of how the movie made me feel. It doesn't have amazing writing or anything like that... but somehow it took me into a world that I rarely enter and made me feel things that are difficult to articulate.

"If the strength of the medium of film is to relay meaning which cannot be expressed in words, then I don't think a review of this film on my part would be worth much... In the spirit of keeping things trite, let me just say I have seen quite a few films, quite a few classics, quite a few masterpieces, and frankly, none of them have moved me as much as this film did. How the BRILLIANT director/writers whom I'm sure we have not seen the last of, managed to weave together seamlessly political commentary, commentary on the nature of the modern family/relationships, existential struggles, racial tensions and ironies, and the very struggles with which we are born by simply being human, is beyond me. The end result was nothing short of a masterpiece. This movie will make you think, feel, and hope. Perfection projected."

So go see it if you want. Don't have high expectations though. I didn't think it was quite as life-changing as this person did, but it was definitely a needed foray into other people's lives.

Finally got some JUICE in tha hizzy

So after I wrote the last post and continued to play the day away, my computer stopped charging. The power cord got very fussy and had to be held into the back of the laptop at a particular angle. I could handle that, until it stopped cooperating entirely. My crappy Acer battery continued to lose power at warp-speed until like 15% remained. Well, now that I'm in the middle of this story, I realize that it's long and boring so I'll spare you. Suffice it to say my computer has been dead for 7 days while I have waited for Acer to send me the RIGHT power cord! I feel bad I gave the customer service guy such a hard time yesterday but they really were being loserish with me. The whole tense phone conversation made me realize that, in some deep subconscious recess in my mind, all phone calls to corporations involving customer service reps, terrible hold music, and inept attempts to solve problems are grouped together in this massive "I HATE COMPANIES" category. The effect is that whenever I call any company, and have to wait for more than 1 minute, and have a less-than-perfect experience, the most violent and uncontrollable anger is stirred up from within my being. lol I mean I'm half-joking but it's half-true.

It's like in Crash, which Amanda and I watched again the other night. You know how Sandra Bullock's character is such a... and near the end, she realizes her anger is chronic. She says, everyday I wake up everyday like this and I don't know why. I can relate to that 100%. That is my last year in DC. It was primarily my job and the traffic, but it's also primarily the way I handle stress (which is badly). I was always angry. Anything can set you off and make you cry.

Anyway I'm not like that now, though I am struggling to handle normal, everyday stress in a healthy way (but you know that from my earlier post). Honestly I would love like... a 2 month retreat from just absolutely everything. And I do mean everyTHING and everyONE. I don't see how that is going to happen, though.

I'm going home for 2 weeks this month, and I am tempted to make it even longer.

Part of what's been happening in the last month to cause the blog absence is that I met a guy, thought I fell in love, was on cloud nine, and then he fell off the face of the earth. I don't understand guys at all. You wouldn't believe the serious type stuff he said not only to me, but to my friends as well, and yet he just dropped off all contact... so bizarre. I feel sooooooo puzzled. And of course I can appreciate the whole "he's just not that into you" theory. It's probably true in this case. I'm not a stupid or desperate girl... I can realize when the connection is just lost. But the two times I explicitly said, "I guess you are trying to tell me, through your actions, that we are over" ... he pleaded with me saying that no it wasn't, it was just circumstances, and I was the one thing he wanted in his life. Then nothing.

Again, I don't understand guys. I'm just trying to move on from that.... I'm sad for the loss but on the other hand, I deserve much, much, much, much, much better treatment than that.

And work has been really busy...

And also I moved this past weekend. So many friends helped me... I am so grateful. On the other hand though, moving apartments when you live alone can be very lonely. I am fine but the feeling comes and goes throughout the whole process. There are an infinite number of details to take care of when you move, and when you're alone, you have to think of and do them all yourself. I am glad for my independence but there's definitely times of loneliness.

So here I am today... moving on from the love of my life who turned out to not be... lol... and the move which has been exhaustingggggg.... and finally having my computer back after 7 days and feeling very overwhelmed by all the emails and projects staring back at me.

Jesus.