Alcohol

This song exemplifies the genius of modern country music. :)

I can make anybody pretty
I can make you believe any lie
I can make you pick a fight with somebody twice your size.
Well I've been known to cause a few break-ups
And I've been known to cause a few births
I can make you new friends or get you fired from work...

And since the day I left Milwaukee
Lynchberg and Bordeaux, France
Been makin' the bars
Lots of big money
And helpin' white people dance
I got you in trouble in high school
But college, now that was a ball
You had some of the best times you'll never remember with me:
ALCOHOL!!!!!!!!

I got blamed at your wedding reception
For your best man's embarassing speech
And also for those naked pictures of you at the beach
I've influenced kings and world leaders
I helped Hemingway write like he did
I'll bet you a drink or two that I can make you put that lampshade on your head

Cause since the day I left Milwaukee
Lynchberg, Bordeaux, France
Been makin' a fool of
Folks just like you
And helpin' white people dance
I am medicine and I am poison
I can help you up or make you fall
You had some of the best times you'll never remember with me:
ALCOHOL!!!!!!!!

(Alcohol, Brad Paisley)