This song exemplifies the genius of modern country music. :)
I can make anybody pretty
I can make you believe any lie
I can make you pick a fight with somebody twice your size.
Well I've been known to cause a few break-ups
And I've been known to cause a few births
I can make you new friends or get you fired from work...
And since the day I left Milwaukee
Lynchberg and Bordeaux, France
Been makin' the bars
Lots of big money
And helpin' white people dance
I got you in trouble in high school
But college, now that was a ball
You had some of the best times you'll never remember with me:
ALCOHOL!!!!!!!!
I got blamed at your wedding reception
For your best man's embarassing speech
And also for those naked pictures of you at the beach
I've influenced kings and world leaders
I helped Hemingway write like he did
I'll bet you a drink or two that I can make you put that lampshade on your head
Cause since the day I left Milwaukee
Lynchberg, Bordeaux, France
Been makin' a fool of
Folks just like you
And helpin' white people dance
I am medicine and I am poison
I can help you up or make you fall
You had some of the best times you'll never remember with me:
ALCOHOL!!!!!!!!
(Alcohol, Brad Paisley)
Saturday, November 25, 2006
Friday, November 24, 2006
Nothing makes me tired
What is it about a day when you don't have to do anything? You sleep in and then get sleepy all over again after having done nothing. Thankfully, you can! Heh.
Amanda, Micah, and some of their family went shopping early this morning in Indiana. I decided to stay here, sleep, and work. So far I've done great on the staying here and sleeping part. As far as working, well I am cleaning out my inbox and translating it into a to-do list so that's good.
I'm watching a home improvement show... Amanda's mom was watching it with me but she ran across the street for a minute. Her dad just got home and we are eating bits of Thanksgiving leftovers. Well mainly I am just eating the desserts. lol I really like this time of year between Thanksgiving and Christmas.
Amanda, Micah, and some of their family went shopping early this morning in Indiana. I decided to stay here, sleep, and work. So far I've done great on the staying here and sleeping part. As far as working, well I am cleaning out my inbox and translating it into a to-do list so that's good.
I'm watching a home improvement show... Amanda's mom was watching it with me but she ran across the street for a minute. Her dad just got home and we are eating bits of Thanksgiving leftovers. Well mainly I am just eating the desserts. lol I really like this time of year between Thanksgiving and Christmas.
Wednesday, November 22, 2006
Populist tide has elitists running scared
I love this commentary from Lou Dobbs. I am a populist! So sue me!
Dobbs: Populist tide has elitists running scared
The only thing I don't fully understand is how American businesses really can compete and survive by keeping jobs in America and keeping them good-paying. I hope there is an answer, I just need to look into it more.
Dobbs: Populist tide has elitists running scared
The only thing I don't fully understand is how American businesses really can compete and survive by keeping jobs in America and keeping them good-paying. I hope there is an answer, I just need to look into it more.
Exciting news
This is cool. I am going to brag for just a second.
The organization I work with drills community-sized water wells in Africa. The unique thing is that we set up an Africa-based company to do this. It not only creates jobs for Africans in addition to providing water, but it is set up as a business that can drill for profits and then take those private client profits and turn them back into ministry projects (serving the poorest of the poor). It's pretty dang cool.
Anyway, I just talked to my boss and he told me how much he appreciated me ("yay"), and said that two proposals I wrote were effective... one foundation is giving us $125,000 and another is giving us $200,000. The even cooler thing is that both of these are part of an equipment matching challenge that goes dollar for dollar. So this $325,000 will actually result in $650,000. All for huge drilling rigs and support trucks that make deep water wells in Africa. Sooooooo cool! Great news on this Thanksgiving...
Well, day before Thanksgiving. The Wednesday before Thanksgiving is so great. I am with Amanda's family in Ohio, Micah is here too, and everyone else. It just feels so homey and happy. But now I do have to focus on work for a few hours before I lose ALL motivation this holiday weekend.
The organization I work with drills community-sized water wells in Africa. The unique thing is that we set up an Africa-based company to do this. It not only creates jobs for Africans in addition to providing water, but it is set up as a business that can drill for profits and then take those private client profits and turn them back into ministry projects (serving the poorest of the poor). It's pretty dang cool.
Anyway, I just talked to my boss and he told me how much he appreciated me ("yay"), and said that two proposals I wrote were effective... one foundation is giving us $125,000 and another is giving us $200,000. The even cooler thing is that both of these are part of an equipment matching challenge that goes dollar for dollar. So this $325,000 will actually result in $650,000. All for huge drilling rigs and support trucks that make deep water wells in Africa. Sooooooo cool! Great news on this Thanksgiving...
Well, day before Thanksgiving. The Wednesday before Thanksgiving is so great. I am with Amanda's family in Ohio, Micah is here too, and everyone else. It just feels so homey and happy. But now I do have to focus on work for a few hours before I lose ALL motivation this holiday weekend.
Articles on non-profits and ending poverty
My Dad and his business partner Paulette have this new website and directory for... holistic, spiritual, new age resources... Whatever you want to call it.
They asked me to write two articles, and here they are.
They asked me to write two articles, and here they are.
Tuesday, November 21, 2006
I'm gonna cry
I have a billion things to finish before going out of town today, and I just switched web hosts for my work website yesterday, annnnnnnd I didn't realize until just now I had to totally save and reload all my files for my website. I guess the guy assumed I knew more than I do about websites. I just thought I was pointing it to different nameservers... but I guess I should have known that since I was getting a completely new control panel, everything had been deleted. Gah! At least it will be more reliable... once I redo everything!
Monday, November 20, 2006
The difference
The difference between guys and girls, I'm discovering, is that when a girl goes to buy clothes... she tries to get into the smallest size possible. She will do everything in her power to be able to buy and wear the smallest size she can.
A guy, on the other hand, has no problem getting an XXL whether he needs it or not. lol
A guy, on the other hand, has no problem getting an XXL whether he needs it or not. lol
Sunday, November 19, 2006
I AM - Pure being... divine life inside
I'd like to get your reaction to this piece below. I have this on my ipod, and transcribed it so I could share it. It's from Eckhart Tolle's book called A New Earth. My personal response, just to lay this out there, is that it resonates very deeply and doesn't conflict with my understanding of God or of spirituality. In fact, it actually helps me understand things better - things like being, life, surrender, and peace. In some ways it is very profound, but once you get it, it's also very basic. Let me know your thoughts. Help me out brothers and sisters and make sure I don't stray too far new age. lol
From Descartes' error to Sartre's insight
The 17th century philosopher Descartes, regarded as the founder of modern philosophy, gave expression to this primary error with this famous diction which he saw as primary truth -
I THINK, THEREFORE I AM.
This was the answer he found to the question, "Is there anything I can know with absolute certainty?" He realized that the fact that he was always thinking was beyond doubt, and so he equated thinking with being... that is to say, identity (I AM) with thinking... Instead of the ultimate truth, he had found the root of the ego, but he didn't know that.
It took almost 300 years before another famous philosopher saw something in that statement that Descartes, as well as everybody else, had overlooked. His name was Jean Paul Sartre. He looked at Descarte's statement - I think, therefore I am - very deeply and suddenly realized, in his own words, "The consciousness that says 'I am' is not the consciousness that thinks." What did he mean by that?
When you're aware that you're thinking, that awareness is not part of thinking. It is a different dimension of consciousness. And it is that awareness that says, "I am." If there were nothing but thought in you, you wouldn't even know you're thinking. You would be like a dreamer who doesn't know he's dreaming. You would be as identified as every thought as the dreamer is with every image in the dream. Many people still live like that - like sleepwalkers, trapped in old, dysfunctional mindsets that continuously recreate the same nightmarish reality. When you know you're dreaming, you awake within the dream - another dimension of consciousness has come in. The implication of Sartre's insight is profound, but he himself was still too identified with thinking to realize the full significance of what he had discovered - an emerging new dimension of consciousness.
The Peace that Passes All Understanding
There are many accounts of people who experience that emerging new dimension of consciousness as a result of tragic loss in their lives. Some lost all of their possessions, others their childresns or spouse, their social position, reputation, or physical abilities. In some cases, through disaster or war, they lost all of these simultaneously and found themselves with nothing. We may call this a limit situation. Whatever they had identified with, whatever gave them their sense of self, had been taken away. Then suddenly and inexplicably, the anguish or intense fear they initially felt, gave way to a sacred sense of presence - the deep peace, serenity, and complete freedom from fear. This phenomenon must have been familiar to Saint Paul, who used the expression, "the peace of God which passes all understanding." It is indeed a peace that doesn't seem to make sense, and the people who experienced it ask themselves, "In the face of this, how can it be that I feel such peace?" The answer is simple once you realize what the ego is and how it works. When forms that you had identified with, that gave you your sense of self, collapse or are taken away, it can lead to a collapse of the ego, since ego is identification with a form. When there is nothing to identify with you anymore, who are you? When forms around you die or death approaches, your sense of beingness, of "I am," is freed from its entanglement with form. Spirit is released from its imprisonment in matter. You realize your essential identity as formless, as an old, pervasive presence, of being prior to all forms, all identifications. You realize your true identity as consciousness itself, rather than what consciousness had identified with. That's the peace of God. The ultimate truth of who you are is not "I am... this" or "I am... that." but "I am."
Not everybody who experiences great loss also experiences this awakening, this disidentification from form. Some immediately create a strong mental image or thought form, in which they see themselves as a victim, whether it be of circumstances, other people, an unjust fate, or God. This thought form and the emotions it creates such as anger, resentment, self-pity, and so on, they strongly identify with, and it immediately takes the place of all the other identifications that have collapsed through the loss. In other words, the ego quickly finds a new form. The fact that this new form is a deeply unhappy one doesn't concern the ego too much as long as it has an identity, good or bad. In fact, this new ego will be more contracted, more rigid and impenetrable than the old one. Whenever tragic loss occurs, you either resist or you yield. Some people become bitter or deeply resentful. Others become compassionate, wise, and loving. Yielding means inner acceptance of what is - you're open to life. Resistance is an inner contraction, a hardening of the shell of the ego - you're closed. Whatever action you take in a state of inner resistance, which we may also call negativity, will create more outer resistance, and the universe will not be on your side. Life will not be helpful. If the shutters are closed, sunlight cannot come in. When you yield internally - when you surrender - the new dimension of consciousness opens up. If action is possible or necessary, your action will be in alignment with the whole and supported by creative intelligence - the unconditioned consciousness which, in a state of inner openness, you become one with. Circumstances and people then become helpful, cooperative. Coincidences happen. If no action is possible, you rest in the peace and inner stillness that come with surrender. You rest in God.
From Descartes' error to Sartre's insight
The 17th century philosopher Descartes, regarded as the founder of modern philosophy, gave expression to this primary error with this famous diction which he saw as primary truth -
I THINK, THEREFORE I AM.
This was the answer he found to the question, "Is there anything I can know with absolute certainty?" He realized that the fact that he was always thinking was beyond doubt, and so he equated thinking with being... that is to say, identity (I AM) with thinking... Instead of the ultimate truth, he had found the root of the ego, but he didn't know that.
It took almost 300 years before another famous philosopher saw something in that statement that Descartes, as well as everybody else, had overlooked. His name was Jean Paul Sartre. He looked at Descarte's statement - I think, therefore I am - very deeply and suddenly realized, in his own words, "The consciousness that says 'I am' is not the consciousness that thinks." What did he mean by that?
When you're aware that you're thinking, that awareness is not part of thinking. It is a different dimension of consciousness. And it is that awareness that says, "I am." If there were nothing but thought in you, you wouldn't even know you're thinking. You would be like a dreamer who doesn't know he's dreaming. You would be as identified as every thought as the dreamer is with every image in the dream. Many people still live like that - like sleepwalkers, trapped in old, dysfunctional mindsets that continuously recreate the same nightmarish reality. When you know you're dreaming, you awake within the dream - another dimension of consciousness has come in. The implication of Sartre's insight is profound, but he himself was still too identified with thinking to realize the full significance of what he had discovered - an emerging new dimension of consciousness.
The Peace that Passes All Understanding
There are many accounts of people who experience that emerging new dimension of consciousness as a result of tragic loss in their lives. Some lost all of their possessions, others their childresns or spouse, their social position, reputation, or physical abilities. In some cases, through disaster or war, they lost all of these simultaneously and found themselves with nothing. We may call this a limit situation. Whatever they had identified with, whatever gave them their sense of self, had been taken away. Then suddenly and inexplicably, the anguish or intense fear they initially felt, gave way to a sacred sense of presence - the deep peace, serenity, and complete freedom from fear. This phenomenon must have been familiar to Saint Paul, who used the expression, "the peace of God which passes all understanding." It is indeed a peace that doesn't seem to make sense, and the people who experienced it ask themselves, "In the face of this, how can it be that I feel such peace?" The answer is simple once you realize what the ego is and how it works. When forms that you had identified with, that gave you your sense of self, collapse or are taken away, it can lead to a collapse of the ego, since ego is identification with a form. When there is nothing to identify with you anymore, who are you? When forms around you die or death approaches, your sense of beingness, of "I am," is freed from its entanglement with form. Spirit is released from its imprisonment in matter. You realize your essential identity as formless, as an old, pervasive presence, of being prior to all forms, all identifications. You realize your true identity as consciousness itself, rather than what consciousness had identified with. That's the peace of God. The ultimate truth of who you are is not "I am... this" or "I am... that." but "I am."
Not everybody who experiences great loss also experiences this awakening, this disidentification from form. Some immediately create a strong mental image or thought form, in which they see themselves as a victim, whether it be of circumstances, other people, an unjust fate, or God. This thought form and the emotions it creates such as anger, resentment, self-pity, and so on, they strongly identify with, and it immediately takes the place of all the other identifications that have collapsed through the loss. In other words, the ego quickly finds a new form. The fact that this new form is a deeply unhappy one doesn't concern the ego too much as long as it has an identity, good or bad. In fact, this new ego will be more contracted, more rigid and impenetrable than the old one. Whenever tragic loss occurs, you either resist or you yield. Some people become bitter or deeply resentful. Others become compassionate, wise, and loving. Yielding means inner acceptance of what is - you're open to life. Resistance is an inner contraction, a hardening of the shell of the ego - you're closed. Whatever action you take in a state of inner resistance, which we may also call negativity, will create more outer resistance, and the universe will not be on your side. Life will not be helpful. If the shutters are closed, sunlight cannot come in. When you yield internally - when you surrender - the new dimension of consciousness opens up. If action is possible or necessary, your action will be in alignment with the whole and supported by creative intelligence - the unconditioned consciousness which, in a state of inner openness, you become one with. Circumstances and people then become helpful, cooperative. Coincidences happen. If no action is possible, you rest in the peace and inner stillness that come with surrender. You rest in God.
Happy Iraqi insurgents is a happy Fox News
A leaked Fox News memo shows the Vice President of News saying:
"Let's be on the lookout for any statements from the Iraqi insurgents, who must be thrilled at the prospect of a Dem-controlled Congress."
Shame on them. That is shameful.
"Let's be on the lookout for any statements from the Iraqi insurgents, who must be thrilled at the prospect of a Dem-controlled Congress."
Shame on them. That is shameful.
Wednesday, November 08, 2006
The Eternal War
Everyone talks about how it important it is that we win the war on terror, or the war on terrorism.
But I just have a question: what will it look like when we have won the war on terror? What will we see and hear? How will we know when it's won? How will we know when it's no longer necessary to spend $100 billion per year on this? (We have just passed the half-trillion mark.)
This is part rhetorical question, and part sincere answer-seeking. I mean, what the heck are we looking for? A world where people who strongly dissent have no way to violently hurt or kill innocent people to make a political point? A world where nation-states are all democratic and pro-Western, refraining from harboring terrorists? English as a second language? McDonalds? I really don't know what the end goal is here.
But I just have a question: what will it look like when we have won the war on terror? What will we see and hear? How will we know when it's won? How will we know when it's no longer necessary to spend $100 billion per year on this? (We have just passed the half-trillion mark.)
This is part rhetorical question, and part sincere answer-seeking. I mean, what the heck are we looking for? A world where people who strongly dissent have no way to violently hurt or kill innocent people to make a political point? A world where nation-states are all democratic and pro-Western, refraining from harboring terrorists? English as a second language? McDonalds? I really don't know what the end goal is here.
I take it back
Okay, I'm sorry for ever blogging on the Ted Haggard thing. lol I have no idea what to make of this situation. I guess I am just especially interested in it because through my job back in DC, I worked closely with people who worked closely with him... does that make sense? So it feels personal even though it's really not.
My friend Jeff emailed me and made the excellent point that he only confessed because he got caught, which is really not that respectable. He also pointed out that this is a classic case of power gone awry, which I agree with, though maybe this was exacerbated by the fact that in religious circles, it is especially hard to show your weaknesses. It makes abusing power even more tempting, in a way. Strangely enough.
Anyways... no conclusions to draw. I am really tired but there's some stuff I need to do before going to sleep... I just made scrambled eggs. I'm listening to James Taylor on a CD that Tom gave me. There are 4 of my jackets, 5 pillows, 1 purse, and 2 bottles of wine on my corner couch right now. We're going to the Hurricanes game tomorrow night, and Friday morning I'm going to Colorado Springs for 5 days. I'm really happy about life right now... just sleep-deprived :) Nothing wrong with a little incoherency now and then...
My friend Jeff emailed me and made the excellent point that he only confessed because he got caught, which is really not that respectable. He also pointed out that this is a classic case of power gone awry, which I agree with, though maybe this was exacerbated by the fact that in religious circles, it is especially hard to show your weaknesses. It makes abusing power even more tempting, in a way. Strangely enough.
Anyways... no conclusions to draw. I am really tired but there's some stuff I need to do before going to sleep... I just made scrambled eggs. I'm listening to James Taylor on a CD that Tom gave me. There are 4 of my jackets, 5 pillows, 1 purse, and 2 bottles of wine on my corner couch right now. We're going to the Hurricanes game tomorrow night, and Friday morning I'm going to Colorado Springs for 5 days. I'm really happy about life right now... just sleep-deprived :) Nothing wrong with a little incoherency now and then...
Heart on sleeve
Ted Haggard's letter to his church really made an impression on me... for honesty... for open brokenness... I have to give him credit.
Sunday, November 05, 2006
Everybody's free to feel good
Everybody's free
everybody's free
everybody's free
Everybody's free
everybody's free
to feel good
to feel good.
Brother and sister, together we'll make it through
oh yeah
Someday a spirit will take you and guide you there
I know you've been hurting
but I've been waiting to be there for you
And I'll be there, just helping you out whenever I can
Everybody's free to feel good.
(Quindon Tarver, "Everybody's Free," Soundtrack of Romeo + Juliet)
everybody's free
everybody's free
Everybody's free
everybody's free
to feel good
to feel good.
Brother and sister, together we'll make it through
oh yeah
Someday a spirit will take you and guide you there
I know you've been hurting
but I've been waiting to be there for you
And I'll be there, just helping you out whenever I can
Everybody's free to feel good.
(Quindon Tarver, "Everybody's Free," Soundtrack of Romeo + Juliet)
Thursday, November 02, 2006
Yet another gay Christian "scandal"
Well it seems Ted Haggard, President of the 30-million member National Association of Evangelicals (NAE) and pastor of a 14,000 member church, is stepping down amid gay affair allegations. Of course I have no clue if it's true or not, but it's not like he's being accused of some one-night fling; his accuser says they had sex about once a month for three years. That's 36 encounters.
Here's an article from the Seattle Post Intelligencer
Now my little post here isn't about homosexuality being wrong. I honestly don't know where I stand on that. I'm more struck by two things:
(1) A Christian world that often times provides shaming rather than healing and support to homosexuals or people struggling with homosexuality, however you want to put it. *
(2) A Christian leader who practices the very sin he so passionately speaks against. If the allegations are true, they are appalling especially because he is such an outspoken opponent of same-sex marriage. I don't care really if you are for it or you're against it, but don't rally millions of Christians against it and then practice it in secret.
I really don't have any judgements here... in fact, my lack of having a strong opinion about homosexuality is probably seems wrong to some. But I guess I'm more just commenting on the brokenness of the whole situation. It's messed up on many levels.
Of course there is the political dimension of it, too. What timing! As my Dad joked, this is nothing compared to the Foley incident. lol
* As an afterthought, I do want to note that this environment is changing slowly and many gay people are receiving a better welcome and better treatment from the Church. So that's good.
Here's an article from the Seattle Post Intelligencer
Now my little post here isn't about homosexuality being wrong. I honestly don't know where I stand on that. I'm more struck by two things:
(1) A Christian world that often times provides shaming rather than healing and support to homosexuals or people struggling with homosexuality, however you want to put it. *
(2) A Christian leader who practices the very sin he so passionately speaks against. If the allegations are true, they are appalling especially because he is such an outspoken opponent of same-sex marriage. I don't care really if you are for it or you're against it, but don't rally millions of Christians against it and then practice it in secret.
I really don't have any judgements here... in fact, my lack of having a strong opinion about homosexuality is probably seems wrong to some. But I guess I'm more just commenting on the brokenness of the whole situation. It's messed up on many levels.
Of course there is the political dimension of it, too. What timing! As my Dad joked, this is nothing compared to the Foley incident. lol
* As an afterthought, I do want to note that this environment is changing slowly and many gay people are receiving a better welcome and better treatment from the Church. So that's good.
Meet the thorn
To touch the rose unfearful
Is to meet the thorn
And pierce the heart's emotion
And feel the emptiness no more.
(Jars of Clay, "No One Loves Me Like You")
Is to meet the thorn
And pierce the heart's emotion
And feel the emptiness no more.
(Jars of Clay, "No One Loves Me Like You")
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