Tuesday, May 30, 2006
Smart
Yep. Definitely just got a new credit card in the mail, activated it, and proceeded to shred... the NEW one. Doh!
Big yellow taxi
Don't it always seem to go that you don't know what you got till it's gone? They paved paradise to put up a parking lot...
My Dad told me last night that by the time I come home to visit this summer, they'll have finished the parking lot in our backyard. Do you know why that's sad?
Well, here's a picture of my backyard:
My Dad told me last night that by the time I come home to visit this summer, they'll have finished the parking lot in our backyard. Do you know why that's sad?
Well, here's a picture of my backyard:
Or here's another way I remember it (since I'm always home at Christmas in Minnesota...):
Yeah. (Sniffle) They truly are paving our little farm paradise. I love that we live on the edge of town. No more I guess. Well, it's gonna be a city park or something like that... which doesn't totally make sense because a huge city park is in our FRONT yard, but whatever. That's civilization for ya.
Haditha
Something is messed up with the coding on my blog. Not sure how to fix it yet...
Anyway, I wanted to post this article:
Iraq to probe US massacre claims
Anyway, I wanted to post this article:
Iraq to probe US massacre claims
Thursday, May 25, 2006
Jack Black Jesus
Jack Black looks a lot like Jesus in this picture, don't you think?
What if Jesus had a sense of humor like Jack Black? Call me crazy but that would be awesome. Can you imagine him joking around with the disciples that much? Oh man... that would be so great.
What if Jesus had a sense of humor like Jack Black? Call me crazy but that would be awesome. Can you imagine him joking around with the disciples that much? Oh man... that would be so great.
Wednesday, May 24, 2006
Fun is fun
The church in Raleigh grew by 50% yesterday! What incredible, 1st century-ish statistics! God is moving powerfully!!
Okay well, if you want to get technical, we went from 4 to 6 people. Jared and Leanne rolled into town yesterday around 4pm. By the time Curt, Drew, and I arrived (Amanda was already there) around 6 or 7, almost everything was finished. By the time we went to dinner at 8, the books were all arranged on the bookshelves, multiple candles were lit, and the key hanger was already nailed into the wall next to the front door. I have never seen people move in so fast! They said it was their pure excitement driving them to get settled.
All I could think was how fun church is when church is people + normal everyday things like moving into a new apartment and going for a burger and fries. And we talked about how John, Deb, and Joelle will be here in 2 weeks. And then Amy will be here, with her husband Zach following just a couple weeks after. Eventually (!!) even Mike and Jasmin will make it to Raleigh. :) Who am I leaving out? There are millions of people I'm leaving out. By this fall, I wouldn't be surprised if there were 20 of us here. This isn't including Daniel and Mong (someone better tell me how to spell that sister's name!) from Maryland, and maybe Bob and his family, and there's always the local people we've met like the Eastmans, Jorgen and his wife (her name is escaping me at the moment), Joey and Chloe, and so many more. Plus we have some fun Florida visitors for the OTR concert, and Jill and her 2 boys will probably be staying with me in June. Can we say PEOPLE!!! I'm so excited. God is so good.
Did anyone read yesterday's Relevant newsletter? It was a story about a friend with cancer, and the point was that God's presence is our presence. I read as much in a book by my friend Jo Anne Lyon called The Ultimate Blessing. God is in our midst as we form community together. And as more "little Christs" come to Raleigh - with the light of Christ burning in them - we start to experience Him a little bit more. There are more everyday events to meet Him in... not more, really... just collectively, more people looking for Him together.
Anyway, the point of this is that church au natural is WAY, way too fun. And thank goodness for that.
Then, I went shopping for a new top today, and found that I can get into a smaller size than I ever have before at any time I can remember in my life. That is amazing. I had to call my trainer Malak and squeal in excitement with her. I also told her I have a date tonight, which I'm now telling you. And so everything seems so fun and full of excitement lately. Now back to this, uh, this WORK thing... which isn't quite as great as people moving to town or fitting into a smaller size skirt or going out with a new boy. But I guess it sorta makes the whole experience possible. (Suppressed "wahhhhhhhhh.")
Okay well, if you want to get technical, we went from 4 to 6 people. Jared and Leanne rolled into town yesterday around 4pm. By the time Curt, Drew, and I arrived (Amanda was already there) around 6 or 7, almost everything was finished. By the time we went to dinner at 8, the books were all arranged on the bookshelves, multiple candles were lit, and the key hanger was already nailed into the wall next to the front door. I have never seen people move in so fast! They said it was their pure excitement driving them to get settled.
All I could think was how fun church is when church is people + normal everyday things like moving into a new apartment and going for a burger and fries. And we talked about how John, Deb, and Joelle will be here in 2 weeks. And then Amy will be here, with her husband Zach following just a couple weeks after. Eventually (!!) even Mike and Jasmin will make it to Raleigh. :) Who am I leaving out? There are millions of people I'm leaving out. By this fall, I wouldn't be surprised if there were 20 of us here. This isn't including Daniel and Mong (someone better tell me how to spell that sister's name!) from Maryland, and maybe Bob and his family, and there's always the local people we've met like the Eastmans, Jorgen and his wife (her name is escaping me at the moment), Joey and Chloe, and so many more. Plus we have some fun Florida visitors for the OTR concert, and Jill and her 2 boys will probably be staying with me in June. Can we say PEOPLE!!! I'm so excited. God is so good.
Did anyone read yesterday's Relevant newsletter? It was a story about a friend with cancer, and the point was that God's presence is our presence. I read as much in a book by my friend Jo Anne Lyon called The Ultimate Blessing. God is in our midst as we form community together. And as more "little Christs" come to Raleigh - with the light of Christ burning in them - we start to experience Him a little bit more. There are more everyday events to meet Him in... not more, really... just collectively, more people looking for Him together.
Anyway, the point of this is that church au natural is WAY, way too fun. And thank goodness for that.
Then, I went shopping for a new top today, and found that I can get into a smaller size than I ever have before at any time I can remember in my life. That is amazing. I had to call my trainer Malak and squeal in excitement with her. I also told her I have a date tonight, which I'm now telling you. And so everything seems so fun and full of excitement lately. Now back to this, uh, this WORK thing... which isn't quite as great as people moving to town or fitting into a smaller size skirt or going out with a new boy. But I guess it sorta makes the whole experience possible. (Suppressed "wahhhhhhhhh.")
Monday, May 22, 2006
Waking and Sleeping, the last 24
The Sleeping Life:
Last night, sometime between 1am and 7am, I had a very vivid dream. It was long but I only remember one moment. I was sitting in my Grandma's living room (a scene from childhood). Quite a few people were there - liesurely sitting in a circle-ish formaton and wearing bold colors - but I can't be sure of anyone's presence except my Grandma and either my aunt or my mom. It suddenly struck me, while I sat there, that this was a dream. [Now I have to tell you that recently, Curt, Drew, and I spoke for a moment about WHERE memories are. Where are they stored.. just in our heads? Am I really carrying around whole worlds - years worth of real life moments - just within the confines of my skull? We've also talked about how some memories are stored in organs such as the liver, and Amanda told us that some people who have had liver transplants have inherited the donor's memories. So that's the basis for the next development.] I was shocked that I was in such a vivid world and yet knew it was a dream. And I said to myself, where IS this world? I couldn't figure out where this dream dimension exists. It was one of those dream-awareness moments where you want to hang on and explore, but it had the added question of identifying where - in what dimension - I was at that moment. Usually we're satisfied to understand a dream just by saying it was a dream, but it was too vivid and big - where does it exist? For some reason, I'm surprised I couldn't understand it anymore being inside the dream than I can right now being outside the dream. You'd think that since I was momentarily there, I would have been able to do the research and find out.
The Waking Life:
I was stopped at a red light today, heading home around noon. I was in the left lane, pretty close to the grassy median. My head was propped up on my arm which was propped up on my door, and I was lost in thoughts and the music on the radio. For no particular reason, my head sort of rolled to the left and flopped over, my eyes slowly following this path. Shock: just a few feet away, a dead deer laid with its body half on the road and half on the grass. Its death was clearly recent, as it was very plump and totally unbothered by bugs. (In fact, I didn't see any blood.) It was laying on its side (as gravity would have it), but its head was in a position you might expect for a creature on its back. The deer's eyes were big and brown and wide-open. It's funny that it looked more fake to me than real - like a mounted deer head you might see in a tacky bar rather than a beautiful creature on the side of the road in North Carolina. I kept looking at it and trying to tell myself it was real. I guess, though, there isn't a tremendously big difference between a dead deer on the road and a dead deer on a wall.
Well, the eyes are different (now that I think about it). And those eyes are what kept me so transfixed.
I involuntarily moaned and kept looking at it until the light turned green. Death is something else...
Last night, sometime between 1am and 7am, I had a very vivid dream. It was long but I only remember one moment. I was sitting in my Grandma's living room (a scene from childhood). Quite a few people were there - liesurely sitting in a circle-ish formaton and wearing bold colors - but I can't be sure of anyone's presence except my Grandma and either my aunt or my mom. It suddenly struck me, while I sat there, that this was a dream. [Now I have to tell you that recently, Curt, Drew, and I spoke for a moment about WHERE memories are. Where are they stored.. just in our heads? Am I really carrying around whole worlds - years worth of real life moments - just within the confines of my skull? We've also talked about how some memories are stored in organs such as the liver, and Amanda told us that some people who have had liver transplants have inherited the donor's memories. So that's the basis for the next development.] I was shocked that I was in such a vivid world and yet knew it was a dream. And I said to myself, where IS this world? I couldn't figure out where this dream dimension exists. It was one of those dream-awareness moments where you want to hang on and explore, but it had the added question of identifying where - in what dimension - I was at that moment. Usually we're satisfied to understand a dream just by saying it was a dream, but it was too vivid and big - where does it exist? For some reason, I'm surprised I couldn't understand it anymore being inside the dream than I can right now being outside the dream. You'd think that since I was momentarily there, I would have been able to do the research and find out.
The Waking Life:
I was stopped at a red light today, heading home around noon. I was in the left lane, pretty close to the grassy median. My head was propped up on my arm which was propped up on my door, and I was lost in thoughts and the music on the radio. For no particular reason, my head sort of rolled to the left and flopped over, my eyes slowly following this path. Shock: just a few feet away, a dead deer laid with its body half on the road and half on the grass. Its death was clearly recent, as it was very plump and totally unbothered by bugs. (In fact, I didn't see any blood.) It was laying on its side (as gravity would have it), but its head was in a position you might expect for a creature on its back. The deer's eyes were big and brown and wide-open. It's funny that it looked more fake to me than real - like a mounted deer head you might see in a tacky bar rather than a beautiful creature on the side of the road in North Carolina. I kept looking at it and trying to tell myself it was real. I guess, though, there isn't a tremendously big difference between a dead deer on the road and a dead deer on a wall.
Well, the eyes are different (now that I think about it). And those eyes are what kept me so transfixed.
I involuntarily moaned and kept looking at it until the light turned green. Death is something else...
Saturday, May 20, 2006
Tomatoes at Taco Bell
Good Lord, this slavery research is right up my alley and bringing me across so many interesting things.
This is fascinating:
Landmark Agreement with Taco Bell Marks Important Victory for US Farmworkers
The agreement is for the workers to be paid 1 cent more per pound of tomatoes. That doubles their wages. This stuff is so staggering. You know, I've always loved that Taco Bell is so freakin' cheap (it really is, you have to admit) but now I understand one detail as to WHY it's so cheap.
The problem with ending slavery today is that it's going to take a big financial sacrifice from people like Americans who are used to getting goods and services cheaply. If it isn't made with slave labor, it should and will cost more. Are we willing to pay for it?
This is fascinating:
Landmark Agreement with Taco Bell Marks Important Victory for US Farmworkers
The agreement is for the workers to be paid 1 cent more per pound of tomatoes. That doubles their wages. This stuff is so staggering. You know, I've always loved that Taco Bell is so freakin' cheap (it really is, you have to admit) but now I understand one detail as to WHY it's so cheap.
The problem with ending slavery today is that it's going to take a big financial sacrifice from people like Americans who are used to getting goods and services cheaply. If it isn't made with slave labor, it should and will cost more. Are we willing to pay for it?
Knowledge is of eternal things
Unlike most modern writers, Plato argued that the main difference between knowledge and true belief was the nature of their objects: knowledge was of eternal truths (later, the Forms), while true belief was of ephemeral, contingent truths.
(From Plato, Wikipedia.)
Gosh, I like Plato. Not everything but this is good stuff.
(From Plato, Wikipedia.)
Gosh, I like Plato. Not everything but this is good stuff.
Friday, May 19, 2006
A History of Violence
This is something pretty terrible I just discovered
The Annual Customs
Whoever the King was in this Damoney region of Africa (modern-day Benin) made ... I don't know, thousands? ... of human sacrifices once a year. They were prisoners of war or criminals, usually. They would whisper a message for the unseen world into their ear and then kill them by slitting their throat. I'm sure they did much worse, too.
The thing is, this was the fate for some people. But what Dahomey did is he sold his fellow Africans as slaves to the Europeans. The Europeans did not kidnap the Africans... they wouldn't have been able to penetrate the interior. Plus there's a lot of disease. Dahomey did the deed... he sold his people into slavery for money. They say he was 5 times richer than the average British Duke. Or, put another way, a King of Dahomey would get 250,000 British pounds a year which is like nearly half a million dollars. By the way, if you're not sure, that is INSANE. We're talking Africa in the 1700s. They used the money for a lot of things, but of course primarily to buy guns from the Europeans to keep this cycle going.
It's amazing how much evil has happened in human history. This is one of countless examples.
Mike, you're really depressing me with this slavery research, man!!
The Annual Customs
Whoever the King was in this Damoney region of Africa (modern-day Benin) made ... I don't know, thousands? ... of human sacrifices once a year. They were prisoners of war or criminals, usually. They would whisper a message for the unseen world into their ear and then kill them by slitting their throat. I'm sure they did much worse, too.
The thing is, this was the fate for some people. But what Dahomey did is he sold his fellow Africans as slaves to the Europeans. The Europeans did not kidnap the Africans... they wouldn't have been able to penetrate the interior. Plus there's a lot of disease. Dahomey did the deed... he sold his people into slavery for money. They say he was 5 times richer than the average British Duke. Or, put another way, a King of Dahomey would get 250,000 British pounds a year which is like nearly half a million dollars. By the way, if you're not sure, that is INSANE. We're talking Africa in the 1700s. They used the money for a lot of things, but of course primarily to buy guns from the Europeans to keep this cycle going.
It's amazing how much evil has happened in human history. This is one of countless examples.
Mike, you're really depressing me with this slavery research, man!!
Thursday, May 18, 2006
Miller Lite
Reason #803 why it's great to be a freelancer...
Having a cold beer with lunch.
:)
NO! Don't judge me. Hehe. I'm actually being very productive today. Shockingly productive, which is a nice change from the last couple days. I feel like I have tons to do right now and that's partly stressful and partly wonderful.
Pray for me though... there are like 10 million people visiting and staying with me in the next few months. I love people time... I seriously LOVE it... the only reason I get anxious is cause I'm so all about it that I sabotage all my work and health priorities. I'm trying to remember just to enjoy it and that God will take care of the details. It's like I'm so laid back about it all and so I'm-not-worried-and-I-don't-care that now I'm actually starting TO worry, strangely enough. I talked with this guy the other day, a financial planner, and the way he characterized other entrepreneurs he knows was totally unlike me... frenzied, working 20 hours a day, totally obsessed with their work and their challenges. Not me. So then I'm like, whoa, but maybe I should be?!
Nah. And so I take another sip of my Millah. ;-)
Having a cold beer with lunch.
:)
NO! Don't judge me. Hehe. I'm actually being very productive today. Shockingly productive, which is a nice change from the last couple days. I feel like I have tons to do right now and that's partly stressful and partly wonderful.
Pray for me though... there are like 10 million people visiting and staying with me in the next few months. I love people time... I seriously LOVE it... the only reason I get anxious is cause I'm so all about it that I sabotage all my work and health priorities. I'm trying to remember just to enjoy it and that God will take care of the details. It's like I'm so laid back about it all and so I'm-not-worried-and-I-don't-care that now I'm actually starting TO worry, strangely enough. I talked with this guy the other day, a financial planner, and the way he characterized other entrepreneurs he knows was totally unlike me... frenzied, working 20 hours a day, totally obsessed with their work and their challenges. Not me. So then I'm like, whoa, but maybe I should be?!
Nah. And so I take another sip of my Millah. ;-)
Monday, May 15, 2006
Dork
Today, at the gym, when I was getting off the elliptical, I totally stepped backwards into the guy on the elliptical machine next to me... to the point of like, stopping his arms from their motion. lol So I, embarassed, apologized... oh no it gets worse. It does. Then as I turned around to walk away, my knee smacked into the back of the machine soooo hard. lol I am such a dork.
On an unrelated note (actually maybe it's related to the dork phenomenon), I have really been struggling with jealousy. I can be jealous of almost anyone for almost anything. At other times, I am soooo happy to be in my own skin (as opposed to anyone else's) and feel so free from that feeling. Seriously, basking in my own independence and alone-ness before God is sometimes the best thing I can rest in, and I am so happy to be just... me. I guess this is just one of my personal struggles, and everyone has theirs... right? :) Riiiiight? Okay. I guess I'm just saying it on here for psuedo confession. Telling you what a klutz I am and how I am so prone to consuming jealousy somehow helps me get over it.
Did you ever think how we all have, probably, around the same number of scars... the same level of disfigurement and sin? Some of us wear it outwardly and some of us inwardly. That's just my personal theory.
On an unrelated note (actually maybe it's related to the dork phenomenon), I have really been struggling with jealousy. I can be jealous of almost anyone for almost anything. At other times, I am soooo happy to be in my own skin (as opposed to anyone else's) and feel so free from that feeling. Seriously, basking in my own independence and alone-ness before God is sometimes the best thing I can rest in, and I am so happy to be just... me. I guess this is just one of my personal struggles, and everyone has theirs... right? :) Riiiiight? Okay. I guess I'm just saying it on here for psuedo confession. Telling you what a klutz I am and how I am so prone to consuming jealousy somehow helps me get over it.
Did you ever think how we all have, probably, around the same number of scars... the same level of disfigurement and sin? Some of us wear it outwardly and some of us inwardly. That's just my personal theory.
Learn something new everyday
Did you know concrete is a plastic?
Oh the tidbits you will learn when once you begin to edit an online Carpentry course...
Oh the tidbits you will learn when once you begin to edit an online Carpentry course...
Sunday, May 14, 2006
Free enough, joyful enough
Note: I just re-read this and even with all my caveats and qualifications, it sounds really "I'm better than you all." Please. That's not my heart and if you're reading this, hopefully you know that. I'm just discovering how free I really am.
I'm listening to "I am not my hair" by India.Arie. Man i like this song. The lyrics aren't terribly amazing but just the beat. Mmmmmmmmm.... does the way I wear my hair make me a better person... mmmm... yeahh.. I am not my hair, I am not this skin, I am not your expectations, no no...
Okay. Focus jenny!
Last night we went to see Phil Keaggy. He's an amazing guitarist. I think he was so good that I couldn't even understand or appreciate his talent.
But it was held at a Vineyard Church building. And I have nothing against Vineyard or any other church. I really don't. I'm just speaking in terms of my personal response when I say...
I hate church atmospheres. I have come to hate it. The people seem so... white, middle-class, and well-behaved. The building - inside and out - is so white, institutional, and ugly. The whole thing just screams boredom to me. All I kept thinking, and maybe this is a lie I'm telling myself, but all I could think was "I'm way too free to stay here." That's why no typical church has held me, I think.
There's this other phrase that's stuck with me. Not sure where I read it... it may even be in a certain translation of Scripture. But the little phrase is: "joyful enough to house the living God." When I first heard that phrase, I dwelled and dwelled on it. I loved it. How much joy... how alive must I be (not out of my own work, but naturally, springing forth easily)... when my heart is housing the living God. And as the Body, how joyful, how alive are we when we house the living God!
Actually even just the phrase 'living God' makes my heart leap. 'God' has become a bit of a meaningless word to me, from overuse... so when I intentionally remember what that word even means, my soul expands. 'God' means bigger than the whole universe, and yet small enough to see and understand what happens in the nucleus of the atoms that make up the chemical compounds that make up my tissue that make up my organs that make up my body. (And not just my body but everything and everyone, everywhere.) 'God' means all the love, passion, color, heat, energy, creativity, wildness, and sheer awareness that exists, all balled up together and barrelling forward with and into humanity. 'God' means all the "laws" of science rendered powerless, all the fear of death gone, all the shame of living as a human... erased by grace. Wow. See? When I really stop and remember what it would mean for someone to actually be GOD, I get excited.
That said, this church atmosphere last night tapped on my shoulder and whispered everything contrary to this freedom. Now I think the people there are good, salt of the earth people. I love them, as much as I can love my nameless brothers and sisters in Christ. And I certainly think I'm no better than them. In fact, I give them tons of credit for persevering! But I'm grateful that when I could do it no longer, God gave me a trap door exit from the stage. And it's not like I was totally kicked out of the play for failing... it's more like there was a cast party going on below the stage. And at this cast party, I can hear the music and the wine is flowing freely and I'm below the surface and loving it. I know I'm getting crazy with the analogy here but... go with it. (The wine wasn't metaphor. That part is real.) (Hehe.)
Moving from Washington to Raleigh has been a bit of a metaphor for what's happening spiritually. I went from that top place, where people and places are recognized. Where there is prestige and reputation and certainty and expectation. To this place, somewhat off the map, that is extremely unpretentious. And I don't care if you know about Raleigh or not, and I don't care if you like it or not. I'm off the map, and I like it this way. I'm not trying to be anything anymore, not trying to achieve. If I am trying to be anything, it's God's. I want to be God's.
I really want to emphasize that I don't feel that I am better than any other person, or that any Christian institution is beneath me. I am saying I'm a failure at it. Just how God made a lot of people too strange to fit into their society or their era, He made me this way and I'm still discovering just how weird I am and (no, that's not the highlight :) ... the highlight is... discovering how absolutely CRAZY he is. Not so much irrational as transrational. Not so much insane as completely-redefinining-sanity(health)-beyond-all-our-imagination-and-expectations.
What a friend we have in Jesus.
I'm listening to "I am not my hair" by India.Arie. Man i like this song. The lyrics aren't terribly amazing but just the beat. Mmmmmmmmm.... does the way I wear my hair make me a better person... mmmm... yeahh.. I am not my hair, I am not this skin, I am not your expectations, no no...
Okay. Focus jenny!
Last night we went to see Phil Keaggy. He's an amazing guitarist. I think he was so good that I couldn't even understand or appreciate his talent.
But it was held at a Vineyard Church building. And I have nothing against Vineyard or any other church. I really don't. I'm just speaking in terms of my personal response when I say...
I hate church atmospheres. I have come to hate it. The people seem so... white, middle-class, and well-behaved. The building - inside and out - is so white, institutional, and ugly. The whole thing just screams boredom to me. All I kept thinking, and maybe this is a lie I'm telling myself, but all I could think was "I'm way too free to stay here." That's why no typical church has held me, I think.
There's this other phrase that's stuck with me. Not sure where I read it... it may even be in a certain translation of Scripture. But the little phrase is: "joyful enough to house the living God." When I first heard that phrase, I dwelled and dwelled on it. I loved it. How much joy... how alive must I be (not out of my own work, but naturally, springing forth easily)... when my heart is housing the living God. And as the Body, how joyful, how alive are we when we house the living God!
Actually even just the phrase 'living God' makes my heart leap. 'God' has become a bit of a meaningless word to me, from overuse... so when I intentionally remember what that word even means, my soul expands. 'God' means bigger than the whole universe, and yet small enough to see and understand what happens in the nucleus of the atoms that make up the chemical compounds that make up my tissue that make up my organs that make up my body. (And not just my body but everything and everyone, everywhere.) 'God' means all the love, passion, color, heat, energy, creativity, wildness, and sheer awareness that exists, all balled up together and barrelling forward with and into humanity. 'God' means all the "laws" of science rendered powerless, all the fear of death gone, all the shame of living as a human... erased by grace. Wow. See? When I really stop and remember what it would mean for someone to actually be GOD, I get excited.
That said, this church atmosphere last night tapped on my shoulder and whispered everything contrary to this freedom. Now I think the people there are good, salt of the earth people. I love them, as much as I can love my nameless brothers and sisters in Christ. And I certainly think I'm no better than them. In fact, I give them tons of credit for persevering! But I'm grateful that when I could do it no longer, God gave me a trap door exit from the stage. And it's not like I was totally kicked out of the play for failing... it's more like there was a cast party going on below the stage. And at this cast party, I can hear the music and the wine is flowing freely and I'm below the surface and loving it. I know I'm getting crazy with the analogy here but... go with it. (The wine wasn't metaphor. That part is real.) (Hehe.)
Moving from Washington to Raleigh has been a bit of a metaphor for what's happening spiritually. I went from that top place, where people and places are recognized. Where there is prestige and reputation and certainty and expectation. To this place, somewhat off the map, that is extremely unpretentious. And I don't care if you know about Raleigh or not, and I don't care if you like it or not. I'm off the map, and I like it this way. I'm not trying to be anything anymore, not trying to achieve. If I am trying to be anything, it's God's. I want to be God's.
I really want to emphasize that I don't feel that I am better than any other person, or that any Christian institution is beneath me. I am saying I'm a failure at it. Just how God made a lot of people too strange to fit into their society or their era, He made me this way and I'm still discovering just how weird I am and (no, that's not the highlight :) ... the highlight is... discovering how absolutely CRAZY he is. Not so much irrational as transrational. Not so much insane as completely-redefinining-sanity(health)-beyond-all-our-imagination-and-expectations.
What a friend we have in Jesus.
Saturday, May 13, 2006
Don't be evil, Google
Wow.
Google in China (Amnesty International)
Here's an excerpt: Early in 2006 Google launched a self-censoring Chinese search engine, google.cn, and recently announced that they would continue to expand their investments in China. Called “Gu Ge” in Chinese, google.cn affects Chinese Internet users by blocking search results for topics such as human rights, political reform, Tiananmen Square and Falun Gong, among others.
Google in China (Amnesty International)
Here's an excerpt: Early in 2006 Google launched a self-censoring Chinese search engine, google.cn, and recently announced that they would continue to expand their investments in China. Called “Gu Ge” in Chinese, google.cn affects Chinese Internet users by blocking search results for topics such as human rights, political reform, Tiananmen Square and Falun Gong, among others.
Wednesday, May 10, 2006
Dwight love
My inspiration, my hero, my crème de la crème when it comes to the blog-writer I aspire to be:
Dwight Schrute - blogger extraordinaire
PS. Yes I realize he's not real. Shut up!
Dwight Schrute - blogger extraordinaire
PS. Yes I realize he's not real. Shut up!
Tuesday, May 09, 2006
Worked on my website today
Okay peeps... so today I got an email with suggestions on how to fix my business website, and magically I found the motivation to complete those changes myself! (The email was intended for me to pay someone else to do it. Heh.)
So.... drum roll please.... umm... yes... so... okay here it is!
http://www.jfcreative.net
I'm open to any and all suggestions. By giving me your critique, you take me one step closer to a better site and a better business that attracts CLIENTS!
PS. Why is it that a day glued to a computer always feels so wasted? Even with as much work as I did on this computer, I'm just like... what the heck did I do today? Plus it's been cloudy for like 8 days straight (not really 8) and so the lack of sun is affecting.
So.... drum roll please.... umm... yes... so... okay here it is!
http://www.jfcreative.net
I'm open to any and all suggestions. By giving me your critique, you take me one step closer to a better site and a better business that attracts CLIENTS!
PS. Why is it that a day glued to a computer always feels so wasted? Even with as much work as I did on this computer, I'm just like... what the heck did I do today? Plus it's been cloudy for like 8 days straight (not really 8) and so the lack of sun is affecting.
Monday, May 08, 2006
Quotes convey cynicism
Why the quotes on this headline?
US 'acts to end prisoner abuse'
Quotes convey cynicism, and it's interesting that the BBC used them here.
With this administration - who knows, maybe with all administrations and this is just the first time I'm paying attention - it's getting harder and harder to control the SPIN. It is getting harder to accurately report from a press conference because it's somewhere between possible and likely that the words spoken are pure rhetoric... even lies.
Language is getting very confusing. Orwell is saying I told ya so. Jenny is sighing.
It's hard to communicate these days. Hard to write, to be involved with news, with dialogue in general.
If you want to learn more about this - and you do, trust me - read this summary of Politics and the English Language... or this section of the George Orwell entry.
US 'acts to end prisoner abuse'
Quotes convey cynicism, and it's interesting that the BBC used them here.
With this administration - who knows, maybe with all administrations and this is just the first time I'm paying attention - it's getting harder and harder to control the SPIN. It is getting harder to accurately report from a press conference because it's somewhere between possible and likely that the words spoken are pure rhetoric... even lies.
Language is getting very confusing. Orwell is saying I told ya so. Jenny is sighing.
It's hard to communicate these days. Hard to write, to be involved with news, with dialogue in general.
If you want to learn more about this - and you do, trust me - read this summary of Politics and the English Language... or this section of the George Orwell entry.
Friday, May 05, 2006
Acquaintence Management
So, I've used Outlook for work for a long time. I use the Inbox like it's sacred - it's sort of my to-do list. (In addition to my other list. Ha :) I also use the calendar. (Even though I did a Google calendar shout-out., I know...) Anyway, the thing is, the Contacts have never been my own. I first inherited my Contacts when I started at my agency in DC in fall of 2003. My boss Christy exported all her business contacts for me and I imported them. About 1,000 people are in my Outlook contacts. A lot of them are internationals - missionaries, leaders in Africa, etc. A lot of them are people in Springfield, Missouri - where my past employer was headquartered.
I don't know most of the people in my Contacts. So I'm deleting them right now. It's extremely tedious and boring. But there are some real people I know in there, so I have to spare those.
Maybe this is a boring post. It's kind of like saying I'm cleaning out the lint in my sock drawer. :-)
But it's true. Soon I will be putting my gajillion new work contacts in Outlook. Emphasis on myyyyyyyy.
The impetus for this massive project was a mega-networking event I participated in this morning. It was like speed dating, only speed business networking. We had 12 rounds. Twelve times you give your 30 minute elevator speech and pass out business cards. Lots of candy and hyper MCs were involved. It was surprisingly fun and surprisingly exhausting.
I don't know most of the people in my Contacts. So I'm deleting them right now. It's extremely tedious and boring. But there are some real people I know in there, so I have to spare those.
Maybe this is a boring post. It's kind of like saying I'm cleaning out the lint in my sock drawer. :-)
But it's true. Soon I will be putting my gajillion new work contacts in Outlook. Emphasis on myyyyyyyy.
The impetus for this massive project was a mega-networking event I participated in this morning. It was like speed dating, only speed business networking. We had 12 rounds. Twelve times you give your 30 minute elevator speech and pass out business cards. Lots of candy and hyper MCs were involved. It was surprisingly fun and surprisingly exhausting.
Thursday, May 04, 2006
Appearing hostile
I'm sorry I get so worked up when it comes to political conversations. I am just wired that way, I guess? I wish I could discuss it calmly - partly cause then I think you'd take me more seriously and consider what I have to say - but apparently I am not able to keep it cool.
My friend in college one time called me out for it, and said I was hostile. She was implying, I think, that I was almost scaring her. I felt bad for that.
The thing is, I really don't think I'm committed to certain "sides" or "outcomes" like you think I am. When I talk to my Dad, he thinks I'm conservative. When I talk to my conservative friends, they think I'm a bleeding heart liberal. The truth is I'm an American, which means (or should mean) that I think for myself, so I find myself coming down on both sides of the aisle. If I seem to disagree with you, it's because I think it's being looked at too one-sidedly... so narrowly... and I am forced to play the devil's advocate.
Of course I usually do believe what I am advocating, but please don't pigeonhole me. Well, that's pretty much not worth saying because your mind has to make sense of me (and everything else it encounters) and so it will be forced to classify me somewhere. I'm a pro-lifer. I'm a Democrat. I'm (recently) a not-so-big-on-institutional-religion-but-still-desperately-need-Jesus-of-Nazareth kind of Christian. I care about the international arena generally, people in poverty specifically, and peace. But I also see the value of military protection and intervention, and though I'd love to be strong enough in myself to say 'we don't need military,' I'm afraid that we do.
And the more I learn about any one issue, the more confused I am about it. Knowing more seems to take me further from a conclusion. Isn't it supposed to work the other way? But I'm trying to remain engaged. I'm trying to recognize that I have a part in conspicuous consumption, and global warming, and racial inequality, and the ability of multinational corporations to be profitable and powerful and harmful.
I'm trying to remain engaged. I see why it's tempting not to be. Maybe part of why I get worked up with you is because you seem to want to disengage, and I can't let that happen to either of us. Disengagement is the problem for most of us.
Jesus wasn't engaged, my friends tell me. Are they right? Wheaton told me otherwise. I guess this is my newest question to solve. I thought it was so obvious that Jesus was engaged... the whole Roaring Lambs book... or the Scandal of the Evangelical Mind... or just the scary nature of the Christian subculture. Separate is not equal... separate is weird, Christians! :) But maybe Jesus wasn't so engaged with "the world" after all. See? I'm confused again.
My friend in college one time called me out for it, and said I was hostile. She was implying, I think, that I was almost scaring her. I felt bad for that.
The thing is, I really don't think I'm committed to certain "sides" or "outcomes" like you think I am. When I talk to my Dad, he thinks I'm conservative. When I talk to my conservative friends, they think I'm a bleeding heart liberal. The truth is I'm an American, which means (or should mean) that I think for myself, so I find myself coming down on both sides of the aisle. If I seem to disagree with you, it's because I think it's being looked at too one-sidedly... so narrowly... and I am forced to play the devil's advocate.
Of course I usually do believe what I am advocating, but please don't pigeonhole me. Well, that's pretty much not worth saying because your mind has to make sense of me (and everything else it encounters) and so it will be forced to classify me somewhere. I'm a pro-lifer. I'm a Democrat. I'm (recently) a not-so-big-on-institutional-religion-but-still-desperately-need-Jesus-of-Nazareth kind of Christian. I care about the international arena generally, people in poverty specifically, and peace. But I also see the value of military protection and intervention, and though I'd love to be strong enough in myself to say 'we don't need military,' I'm afraid that we do.
And the more I learn about any one issue, the more confused I am about it. Knowing more seems to take me further from a conclusion. Isn't it supposed to work the other way? But I'm trying to remain engaged. I'm trying to recognize that I have a part in conspicuous consumption, and global warming, and racial inequality, and the ability of multinational corporations to be profitable and powerful and harmful.
I'm trying to remain engaged. I see why it's tempting not to be. Maybe part of why I get worked up with you is because you seem to want to disengage, and I can't let that happen to either of us. Disengagement is the problem for most of us.
Jesus wasn't engaged, my friends tell me. Are they right? Wheaton told me otherwise. I guess this is my newest question to solve. I thought it was so obvious that Jesus was engaged... the whole Roaring Lambs book... or the Scandal of the Evangelical Mind... or just the scary nature of the Christian subculture. Separate is not equal... separate is weird, Christians! :) But maybe Jesus wasn't so engaged with "the world" after all. See? I'm confused again.
US will be interrogated by UN Committee on Torture
UN to quiz Washington on torture
1. Yay for accountability and transparency
2. How in the world did we ever get to this point? The United States of America... land of the free... upholder of human rights... covered in a dark shroud of suspicion and secrecy. It is not good. It just is not good. I hope that my worst thoughts of what is happening are unfounded. I really do. Just from what I've read, things do not look good.
1. Yay for accountability and transparency
2. How in the world did we ever get to this point? The United States of America... land of the free... upholder of human rights... covered in a dark shroud of suspicion and secrecy. It is not good. It just is not good. I hope that my worst thoughts of what is happening are unfounded. I really do. Just from what I've read, things do not look good.
NC beach lovah
So, I've been absent for a couple days and here's why. My Mom came to town (visiting from Minnesota). As I write, she is packing her bags. So is my Aunt who just came down from Northern VA... they both leave on different flights at exactly 12:40 today.
But the week started with my Mom getting in late on Friday night. I won't re-live every aspect of our week, but one of the highlights is that we spontaneously decided to go to the Outer Banks of North Carolina. I have never been there before... And it looks pretty crazy if you see it on a map because it's a tiny strip of land totally out in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean:
You see that little black line just east of Raleigh that outlines North Carolina? Yep, that is it.
So anyway, we saw several lighthouses which were beautiful and majestic but also kind of frightening. They call this area "the graveyard of the Atlantic" because there have been over 1,000 shipwrecks. I thought that meant the lighthouses were doing a terrible job but my Mom says it would have been even more without their help. Interesting.
Anyway, we found a hotel room on the 3rd floor, oceanfront! The waves were so incredibly loud and powerful. I have never gone to sleep with something like that roaring outside my window. We woke up to the world's earliest sunrise, and this beautiful view:
We headed back that morning and went through Roanoke Island. That's where the lost colony of Roanoke was... the first British settlement ever. Yes, even before Jamestown. I always thought that was Roanoke, Virginia but indeed it is in North Carolina. It turns out that all this land was called Virginia back then! Named after the virgin queen, Elizabeth.
Anyway, on our day heading back, I was so headachey and tired and just felt terrible. All I could do was sleep in the car. I was totally useless and pretty miserable. Even when we got back to my house, I immediately collapsed on the bed and couldn't get up for several hours.
When I did wake up, I threw up. Four times. Yes, I just told you that. Hahaha. We think it was something to do with the shrimp that we ate at the beach. I don't know but I started to feel much better, but it took another 24 hours for things to really get back to normal. Even now I'm not 100% but I'm getting there...
Then my aunt came and we went over to Chapel Hill, ever so briefly... just so my Mom could see this college town. I'm trying to post some photos but it's not working. Hmm... well if I do get it to work, this is the end of the post for now. :) I need to get showered and get these girls to the airport!
The rest of the photos are here.
But the week started with my Mom getting in late on Friday night. I won't re-live every aspect of our week, but one of the highlights is that we spontaneously decided to go to the Outer Banks of North Carolina. I have never been there before... And it looks pretty crazy if you see it on a map because it's a tiny strip of land totally out in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean:
You see that little black line just east of Raleigh that outlines North Carolina? Yep, that is it.
So anyway, we saw several lighthouses which were beautiful and majestic but also kind of frightening. They call this area "the graveyard of the Atlantic" because there have been over 1,000 shipwrecks. I thought that meant the lighthouses were doing a terrible job but my Mom says it would have been even more without their help. Interesting.
Anyway, we found a hotel room on the 3rd floor, oceanfront! The waves were so incredibly loud and powerful. I have never gone to sleep with something like that roaring outside my window. We woke up to the world's earliest sunrise, and this beautiful view:
We headed back that morning and went through Roanoke Island. That's where the lost colony of Roanoke was... the first British settlement ever. Yes, even before Jamestown. I always thought that was Roanoke, Virginia but indeed it is in North Carolina. It turns out that all this land was called Virginia back then! Named after the virgin queen, Elizabeth.
Anyway, on our day heading back, I was so headachey and tired and just felt terrible. All I could do was sleep in the car. I was totally useless and pretty miserable. Even when we got back to my house, I immediately collapsed on the bed and couldn't get up for several hours.
When I did wake up, I threw up. Four times. Yes, I just told you that. Hahaha. We think it was something to do with the shrimp that we ate at the beach. I don't know but I started to feel much better, but it took another 24 hours for things to really get back to normal. Even now I'm not 100% but I'm getting there...
Then my aunt came and we went over to Chapel Hill, ever so briefly... just so my Mom could see this college town. I'm trying to post some photos but it's not working. Hmm... well if I do get it to work, this is the end of the post for now. :) I need to get showered and get these girls to the airport!
The rest of the photos are here.
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