Strange and terrible

Last night I realized that I should have started a certain project WAY earlier... basically it was a massive media contact list for distributing a press release. I was going to distribute this baby about 8am this morning, but it wasn't until last night that I discovered what a mess the list was. Hours and hours of internet research got me far, but not nearly far enough. Finally at 2am I emailed my boss on that project and said am I being a perfectionist, should I just send it to whoever... or should we wait. He liked the idea of waiting and perfecting it. Sigh. So the good part about that, is where I thought I was going to wake up in a frenzy this morning to get it out, I actually am fine and just need to keep working on it.

Anyway when I was working on this last night, I was in a strange and terrible mood. Do you ever just... get out of whack? And it is (or seems) wholly impossible to get yourself back where you need to be. For me, I know what the circumstances were that made me feel that way... basically I thought two things (that I haven't mentioned) were going to work out, and neither one of them seem to be working out. Other times in life, two things you thought weren't going to work out DO and you get the opposite feeling... giddiness instead of despair.

I just hate getting in moods like that though. It makes me feel almost breathless and restless. It's like you can't get relief from your own self, from your mind. Not that anything is so terrible... I am talking about something very, very subtle. I just was putting it out there because sometimes I wonder if I am the only person who gets this way. It's a feeling of being trapped in wrongness in a way. Having to deal with something you'd rather ignore.

There's no sugar-coated, happy ending to this mini-story, but I will say that sleep is a real gift. Great is your faithfulness, Lord... it is new every morning.

Early morning

I joined this networking group that meets every Wednesday morning at 7:45am.

Gahh :)

To a freelancer, that is a death sentence. That is a punishment.

Nah, actually it wasn't too bad. I actually got around 6 hours of sleep last night so I don't wake up toooo sleepy. I actually saw the sunrise. That is one of the first times I've seen the sunrise from my apartment that I've lived in for 2.5 months. It is totally visable over the trees through my kitchen window. Kinda pretty, actually.. it's over the trees, like I said, but it's like a horizon. Well I've gotten up super-early a few times to go to the airport but that was in darkness... never at sunrise.

The reason I'm thinking about all this is I am soooooo hungry and I looked at the clock and it's only 11:18am. Usually I would have just eaten breakfast around now. lol

Craig's list is a constant source of joy

Micah, I see why Wonkette has so much fun with Craig's List. This is a great one from the Raleigh site. Thank you, funny stranger, for making me laugh. (By the way, if you weren't sure, this is a personal ad from a man seeking a woman.)

The Da Vinci Code and other weird bibicial findings

You've read the book and seen the movie, frankly if Da Vinci had that much time on his hands more power to him but I'm aware the real secrets lie with the templar knights because I hold the family templar crest, it's basically bred into you like a cat is genetically bred to hunt so if you don't get that well maybe we'd have to discuss it. However that's not what I'm here to mention today, what I'm here for is to find a research assistant would jump down the quantum rabbit hole with me and turn this little reality on it's ear because I've recently discovered after watching several old trading spaces shows and extreme home make over that the anti christ could be ty pennington. Yes that's right hottie carpenter extrodinare could be the son of evil.

The evidence is he's wealthy, great looking, helps others less fortunate, can build anything, and can assemble the masses, and most of all is highly trusted. OMG does it get any clearer than that??? I'm certain that when he gets into policticing that he'll tray to build some dang temple and hey I'm not even going to get into the Red Bull theory because I'm not wishing to start a end of days frenzy here but I will say under that head of hair mr Ty sports is the numbers 666 and we're going to find it and expose him to the world for the evil that he is, you with me? drop a line and we can go over the details in my grem free self contained end of days secure storm shelter.

Blondes have more... sketch

I don't trust guys with blond hair.

Strange but true. lol

Airfare is irrational

So for Christmas, just like last year, all I want to do is get a ticket that will take me from Raleigh to Kansas City... and then from Fargo, ND back to Raleigh. That's because I'll be meeting my family in Kansas for a 100th birthday party, then driving back to Minnesota for Christmas. Here are the results:

Get both tickets together: $340
JUST Raleigh to KC: $98
JUST Fargo to Raleigh: $700

Ummmmmmmm...?

Weird. Truly nonsensical but hey.

Half Nelson

I went and saw Half Nelson this afternoon. It's a movie about a white inner-city history teacher and his friendship with a young black girl (she's on the basketball team he coaches). So, I realize there are a lot of movies that sound like this, but what sets this one apart? I guess it's that the teacher is so messed up. He's a crack addict. The girl (Drey) sees him at his worst, more than once.

Mutual brokenness...

Brokenness from the one who should, for every reason, be strong.

I just read this on IMDB, and it's a pretty good summary of how the movie made me feel. It doesn't have amazing writing or anything like that... but somehow it took me into a world that I rarely enter and made me feel things that are difficult to articulate.

"If the strength of the medium of film is to relay meaning which cannot be expressed in words, then I don't think a review of this film on my part would be worth much... In the spirit of keeping things trite, let me just say I have seen quite a few films, quite a few classics, quite a few masterpieces, and frankly, none of them have moved me as much as this film did. How the BRILLIANT director/writers whom I'm sure we have not seen the last of, managed to weave together seamlessly political commentary, commentary on the nature of the modern family/relationships, existential struggles, racial tensions and ironies, and the very struggles with which we are born by simply being human, is beyond me. The end result was nothing short of a masterpiece. This movie will make you think, feel, and hope. Perfection projected."

So go see it if you want. Don't have high expectations though. I didn't think it was quite as life-changing as this person did, but it was definitely a needed foray into other people's lives.

Love came and we were all afraid

I am still running
Oh, I am still running
Running from the knowledge
That eye, that love

Oh, I am still running
I am still running
Running from the knowledge
From which there's no refuge

For you meant only love - and loved
And I felt only fear and pain

So once in Israel
LOVE CAME
And we were all afraid.

("Still Running," eastmountainsouth)

I know I've blogged about this song before. I just like it. So take that.

I'm at a bakery-cafe in Northern Virgina and SOMETHING AMAZING just came out of the ovens... smells like toffee and brown sugar and everything wonderful. Yummm. It's cold and it's rainy and I love it.

So I think I may drive back to Raleigh tonight, depending upon whether Liz will surface or not.

Heart's cry

You know that song Chasing Cars by Snow Patrol?

It sounds to me like a Vineyard worship song... or some kind of heartful, honest song to God. I like that the song is popular right now. In some weird way, it actually gives me hope for humanity.

And I've been thinking of humanity a lot in the last few days. I'm in the DC area. There are a freakin' LOT of people here. They stress me out. There are lots of hot people (more than Raleigh, lol). There are lots of foreign-born people. They are operating the empire (that's for you, Micah) right here from this city. Mostly they are each just playing very small parts of it. Tons of them are housekeepers or roofers for the homes of people running the empire. Anyway, humanity all around...

Loveology, Forgive-me-ology

Listen to this song, "Loveology" by Regina Spektor. (It will take a minute to download... be patient.)

Oh, an incurable humanist you are.

Let's go to the movies,
I will hum you a song about nothing at all

Let's go to the movies, Let's go to the movies,
Nothing at all, Nothing at all, Nothing at all, Nothing at all.

Oh, An incurable humanist you are.

Let's go to the movies,
I will hum you a song about nothing at all

Let's go to the movies,
I will sing you a song about nothing at all

Let's go to the movies, Let's go to the movies,
Nothing at all, Nothing at all, Nothing at all, Nothing at all.

Sit down class, open up your textbooks to page 42.

Porcupine-ology, antler-ology, car-ology, bus-ology, train-ology, plane-ology, mama-ology, papa-ology,you-ology, me-ology, love-ology, kiss-ology, stay-ology, please-ology.

Let's study class, let's study class. Sit down.

Love-ology, love-ology, I'm sorry-ology, forgive me-ology, love-ology, love-ology, I'm sorry-ology, forgive me-ology, love-ology, Love-ology.

Let's study class, let's study class.

Love-ology. Let's study class, sit down.

Love-ology, love-ology, I'm sorry-ology, forgive me-ology, love-ology, love-ology. I'm sorry-ology, forgive me-ology, love-ology, Love-ology.

Love-ology

Oh, an incurable humanist you are
Oh, forgive me, Oh, forgive me, Oh.
Forgive me, forgive me, forgive me-ology

100 Hours of Pure Joy: If the Democrats Win Congress Next Month

The two party leaders, Rep. Nancy Pelosi, D-Calif., and Sen. Harry Reid, D-Nev., are promoting a six-prong "New Direction for America" agenda -- their so-called "Six for '06."

Pelosi has also promised that within 100 hours after taking control of the House on January 3, Democrats will pass legislation to increase the minimum wage, mandate the negotiation of Medicare prescription drug prices, fully implement the recommendations of the 9/11 commission, and repeal tax benefits for big oil companies.

And that would be only the start. Other Democrats -- especially prospective committee chairmen eager to gain, or regain, control of the gavels -- are bubbling over with possible initiatives across the public policy spectrum.

For instance, Sen. Barbara Boxer, D-Calif., in line to chair the Senate Environment and Public Works Committee, wants to push legislation to reduce greenhouse gases, while Sen. Edward Kennedy, D-Mass., who may lead the Senate Health, Education, Labor, and Pensions Committee, is looking to cut interest rates on student loans. On the other side of the Capitol, Rep. Charles Rangel, D-N.Y., the prospective House Ways and Means Committee chairman, wants a more bipartisan policy on international trade, including better protections for U.S. workers.

(From MSNBC at http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/14833983/)

I love all of these things! Let it be so!!!!!!!!!!! lol Seriously though. It would be like the end of the nightmare. I'm sorry to say something so pro-Dem but I just think all these things are very positive for our country and we are not doing so well right now. We need a change. Oh yeah, add to this list repealing the disgusting tax cuts for the wealthiest people in America. And giving funding back to programs like HeadStart. Or addressing the fact that the number of people living in poverty has increased every year, as well as the number (and proportion) of people without medical insurance. But I digress...

Well whatever you think... even if you totally disagree with me... (I can't believe I'm saying this to those of you.. haha).. but vote in November.

Regina revisited

Sooo my friend Gina (not REgina) called me on Saturday night - when I was on a spontaneous trip in the mountains of North Carolina - to tell me REgina Spektor was playing in DC in a few days and ohh how she wished she had someone to go with. I gave her Regina's CD a few months ago, so she didn't know anyone else who liked her besides me.

So, begrudgingly, hesitantly (HA), I said I will go! I didn't think it was super wise - I really paused for about 120 seconds with the phone in my hand thinking about driving up to DC on one afternoon and heading back the next morning - but I wanted to carpe diem. After all, I may not be a freelancer forever so I intend to start actively enjoying the benefits of schedulelessness.

(As an aside, the whole thing turned into a business trip which I will, within hours, have very good news or very bad news about... I'm waiting for a phone call or email.)

So we saw Regina last night at the 9:30 Club! She is an amazing songwriter and singer. I don't know if I would exactly say she's an amazing performer because she's pretty shy on stage, but she is amazing at her art. There is literally no one in the world like her. She is silly and playful and beautiful and nasty and profane all at the same time. It's quite special.

I saw her last at Easter (6 months ago) and the shows were very similar. The main differences were that (1) she has gotten significantly more famous since the last show. The place was totally packed out which I wasn't thrilled with, but hey... it's a great small venue nonetheless, and (2) She now has a band for half of the set. Which makes it harder to understand her awesome sing-songy storytelling and probably irritates all the people who think she has sold out to pop, but I think she's just enjoying it.

The only other little reflection I have on Regina's concert is that her fans, like most devoted fans of anyone famous, totally idolize her. The whole crowd was staring at her in silent amazement and, in some way, worship. It makes me kind of sad because... isn't each person worthy of such love and adoration? Isn't the spark of the divine in every human life? No seriously! I know you think I'm going off on some ridiculous Catholic tangent, but the truth of the matter is that sometimes a person will do something special and it will remind you that you love that person and you will want to take ownership of them... you will want to be associated with them... and though that feeling comes and goes for the people in your life, they pretty much deserve it all the time - that love. I guess I just wish that the guy that asked me for a dollar on 14th Street yesterday could have what Regina had for even just 5 seconds.

A band worth noting

I would just like to give special acknowledgements to Jars of Clay who are, I believe, a really amazing band. You may think they're not cool, but you would be wrong! They have created so many amazing songs, and each CD has its own unique feel. I am impressed at the music that has come out of those guys. Being able to write so many different songs, both musically and lyrically, is a huge feat. I currently love this song Work and should not under any circumstances buy any CDs right now but I really want their new one. Gah! :)

Anyway, let's revisit an old favorite... from their first CD which was groundbreaking in every way. You should listen to this song again if you have it.

Liquid

Arms nailed down - are you telling me something?
Eyes turned out - are you looking for someone?
This is the one thing
The one thing that I know

Blood-stained brow - are you dying for nothing?
Flesh and blood - is it so elemental?
And this is the one thing
The one thing that I know

Blood-stained brow - he wasn't broken for nothing.
Arms nailed down -he didn't die for nothing.
This is the one thing
The one thing that I know.