Where I breathe best

Just returned tonight from a 48 hour business trip to DC.

I am sooooooo glad to be home. I am really glad I moved. I love my people there, but as far as the city, something in me has become fundamentally incompatible with it. I had a headache almost the entire time I was there. I involuntarily adopt terrible, unhealthy habits when I am there... it's probably just my former office (that I hate hate hate) and all the stress of work... I don't know. But being in DC, even though I love DC in a lot of ways, it just has this heaviness for me.

All I can tell you is that for every mile I drove on I-95 South, I felt that much better, and healthier, and happier. I guess I am not the city girl I thought I was. I'm from the country and I like it like that. :) No, not the country, just the Midwest... regular houses, on the fringe of mid-sized towns... that's where I can breathe. I love open spaces. It is really good to be finding these things out about myself.

Once I started to pull into our area of Raleigh, I had the windows down and the sunroof open (well it was nighttime) and the air is so warm and fresh, and you can see the stars, and I just feel so happy. It is good for me to be where I am.

Sorry this has been all about me lately. I have these great ideas for spouting universal truths but once I sit down to actually post, I sort of just feel introspective and thankful and can only start with where I am at in this moment. I guess I've trained myself to freewrite about personal stuff before I can get into anything else. Anyway, all that to say, sorry for nothing profound tonight. What can I say.... I love fresh air and stars.

I also hope we go to the beach soon. I live in NC and I haven't been to the beach yet! I am going to see if Curt, Drew, and Amanda will go with me to see a sunrise on the beach in the next few days. That would be fun eh?

Crazy, crazy family

I have to share how crazy my family is. I got this email from them on my birthday:

Happy Birthday Jenny! Sorry you couldn't make it to the party with us. As you can see, you had a nice cake and a nice meal.

Happy Birthday Jenny from Mom, Dad, Mike and Jess. It was a wonderful party.



Yes, they actually framed my picture, gathered party props, and took me to brunch at a diner in Fargo. Hahahahahaha. They said it was super crowded (it was on Sunday morning) and everyone around them seemed to think they were honoring me in mourning... as if I were dead and that's why I couldn't be present. If they had had an urn, it would have been complete... :)

Summer night wedding

So, I am really sick. I have a pretty bad cold. Yucky.

I just wanted to comment that I recently realized the only thing I would love as much as a fall wedding might be a summer evening wedding... the kind of party you see in movies where they have lots of little lights and a live band under the stars. Oooooh that would be so nice.

100 other lovers, more, 100 other altars

I built another temple to a stranger
I gave away my heart to the rushing wind
I set my course to run right into danger
Sought the company of fools instead of friends

You know I've been unfaithful, with lovers in lines
While You're turning over tables with the rage of a jealous kind
I chose the gallows to the aisle, thought that love would never find...
But hanging ropes will never keep You
and Your love of a jealous kind
Love of a jealous kind...

Try to jump away from Rock that keeps on spreading
For solace in the shift of the sinking sand
I'd rather feel the pain all too familiar
Than be broken by a Lover I don't understand...
Cause I don't understand...

You know I've been unfaithful, with lovers in lines
While You're turning over tables with the rage of a jealous kind
I chose the gallows to the aisle, thought that love would never find...
But hanging ropes will never keep You
and Your love of a jealous kind
Love of a jealous kind...
Love of a jealous kind
Love of a jealous kind

....... mmmmm One hundred other lovers
More, one hundred other altars
If I should slow my pace, finally subject me to grace
and Love that shames the wise
betrays the heart's deceit and lies
breaks the back of foolish pride
ohhhhhhhhh you know I've been unfaithful
with lovers in lines
while You're turning over tables with the rage of a jealous kind...
I chose the gallows to the aisle
Thought that love would never find
But hanging ropes will never keep You
and Your love of a jealous kind...
Your love of a jealous kind, oh, your love of a jealous kind

(This is not a Jesus-is-my-girlfriend song. It's really about Him :)

Human Rights First

Note: You've got to respect that this is not a politically charged piece, but rather a non-partisan plea for recognizing human rights. I can't believe people really even need to fight for these things in America. It shocks me.

Dear Jenny,

The previously unseen photographs from Abu Ghraib, the UN report recommending closure of Guantanamo, and the government whistleblower hearings - all in the news last week - put a new spotlight on torture and abuse in U.S. facilities.

But the media is showing you only a small part of the picture. Human Rights First has independently and tirelessly researched U.S. mistreatment of detainees - a problem that goes far beyond Abu Ghraib. Just today we released an eye-opening report, titled Command's Responsibility.

We came to a disturbing conclusion: Dozens of detainees were killed in U.S. custody, 8 of whom were tortured to death. In most cases, not one person was held responsible. Even more distressing, no higher-level officials have faced a criminal charge, even as they are the root of the problem.

This can be fixed. America's reputation can be restored. Please click here to ask President Bush to adopt a "zero tolerance" policy for commanders who allow torture and abuse to occur on their watch.

This zero-tolerance approach requires:

• Immediate and full implementation of Sen. John McCain's ban on torture and cruel treatment. You helped this become law; now we must ensure it becomes practice.
  
• Written orders from the President, as Commander in Chief, to military commanders and civilian leaders of the intelligence agencies, in which the President specifies that abuses like waterboarding, stress positions, sexual humiliation, beatings, and other cruel and inhuman treatment are illegal and will not be tolerated.
  
• All those who authorize or engage in wrongdoing must be held accountable.

Not only did commanders fail to give troops clear guidance, they inadequately investigated the cases – and they mustbe held accountable for unlawful acts about which they knew or should have known. As long as commanders can get away with this unlawful behavior, the problem of torture and abuse will persist. Click here to read our report.

The Pentagon claims these abuses are being adequately addressed – yet investigators failed to interview key witnesses, and failed to collect or maintain useable evidence. Out of the 34 detainee deaths the government classifies as homicides, only 12 have resulted in punishment of any kind.

Click here to urge President Bush to make sure we close this dangerous accountability gap and fix the problem. This is a critical step, not only in the interest of justice but also as a matter of national security. If not addressed, this problem will continue to expose our troops to needless risk - and will increase the likelihood that torture and abuse will continue. Thank you for sharing our conviction that torture should not be tolerated.

Sincerely,

Jill Savitt
Director of Campaigns
Human Rights First

Grace, apparently

Everything is going so well lately... I'm kind of in a state of grateful shock. I was able to make an amazing, amazing connection with a local business bureau (yes I said amazing twice). I didn't even know the sort of deal I made with them was possible to be made! And, coming back from that meeting feeling very happy (as my Dad said, "Wow! What a cash-cow that was." hahaha)... I got this call from a guy who I cold-called over 2 weeks ago. It was weird that he returned my call at all (since I am a total stranger to him), and weird that he did it after two weeks, and weirder still that he did it purely to help me out. It turns out we are in exact the same career situation (our lives would be somewhat identical if I were 15 years older! kinda). All he did was talk to me for an hour giving me idea after idea. I just mean this guy was exceptionally helpful and gave me lots of leads. How is everything working out so well?! It makes me want to say to everyone, follow your heart! This crazy constant shower of blessing seems to be happening to me ever since I have done exactly what I most wanted to do. I know it's not always going to be sunshine and smiles, but seriously, there is some crazy freedom-loving type karma blessing joyful serendipitous wild thing going on.

The Great Firewall of China

The War over China's Wikipedia

Greatly interesting situation... do we really live in a world where Wikipedia is banned in a nation the size of China? Dang. I really take my freedom for granted sometimes.

What Hurts the Most

Why did Rascal Flatts release "What Hurts the Most" on the radio, but won't have it on itunes or anywhere else until April?! That's madness.

Close Guantanamo

UN Calls for Guantanamo Closure

I agree 100%. I wish I could do something... write a letter, maybe. It feels very hopeless.

Poverty, Slavery, y mas

Yesterday, I went to a Poverty Center event at UNC. Yes, that means my boy Silky Pony was there!!! (FYI, Silky Pony is the derogatory name for John Edwards, but I absolutely love John Edwards and he could indeed be described as a silky pony - a pretty face - so I co-opted the evil nickname for good purposes!) Anyway, Silky Pony was there as well as speakers from places that care about health care in America - a local free clinic, Georgetown's Public Policy center, and a non-profit called America's Health Together.

The downside was not being able to talk about anything substantively in the 60 minutes provided (short!). The upside was how many people came out for the panel discussion, and how it reminded me personally that this is a huge issue for America. We have such an incredibly patchwork "solution" to health care access in America. The private response is very patchwork (employer-based, with many employers providing little or no healthcare coverage) and the public response is patchy as well (with Medicaid, Medicare, and SCHIPS not covering everyone who needs it). I would love for good elected minds to get together and solve this. It's one priority for me when it comes to voting, anyway. One way to start caring about this is to rent the movie John Q. Another way is to talk with one of the 48 million Americans who have no coverage. :( Scary.

Okay, I am done, but for those of you who came along with me this far, I have a prize for you. I am working on campaign to sustain our anti-trafficking programs in West Africa. I made this today logo for it today... whatcha think?


Woops! Forgot about my laundry... :) See ya later.

And I love this song, too

When I hear this song, I can actually feel and smell summertime, and just the aliveness of it all... well, I have teared up while listening to this song, several times. lol I don't know why I like it so much but something about live music, and lots of people together, and a summer sky... gets me very happy.

They got 3 in the front and 4 in the back of a Civic
Camped out all night on the sidewalk just to get tickets
With their hands on the fence in the back by the buses and limousines
Just to get a glimpse of a drummer, or a singer, yeah anything

And they come from miles around
For the moment when the lights go out
And they screaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaam!!

It's the girls in the front row singing
It's the boys with the wheels that bring them
It's the lighters in the air, and you guys up there
You're the heart and the soul and the reason we do what we do
Here's to you!

There's a silver-tongued blond trying to sweet-talk her way backstage
There's a mom and a dad in the aisle, not acting their age
There's a wet corvette, red lipstick print on a Coors Light cup
Yeah, judging by the way she's dancing, I'd say she's had enough (ha ha...)

The guitars come alive
And you make us want to stay all night
And they screaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaam!

It's the girls in the front row singing
It's the boys with the wheels that bring them
It's the lighters in the air, and you guys up there
You're the heart and the soul
And the reason we do what we do
Here's to youuuuuu!

Oh yeah.... yeah here's to you

(Here's to You, Rascal Flatts)

This is my favorite workout cooldown song

Highway run into the midnight sun
Wheels go round and round
You're on my mind

Restless hearts sleep alone tonight
Sending all my love
Along the wire

They say that the road ain't no place to start a family
Right down the line it's been you and me
And loving a music man ain't always what it's supposed to be
Oh girl, but you stand by me

I'm forever yours... faithfully.

Circus life under the big top world
We all need the clowns
To make us smile

Through space and time, always another show
Wondering where I am
Lost without you

And being apart ain't easy on this love affair
Two strangers learn to fall in love again
I get the joy of rediscovering you
Oh girl, you stand by me

I'm forever yours... faithfully.

(Faithfully, Journey)